Rain

Today I was doing my laundry. My washer and dryer are located in my garage. So as I'm putting my clothes in the dryer from the washer I hear rain pounding on the ground outside. I drop my clothes, run inside, throw my jacket on and head out to play in it.

I ran in the rain. I ran and ran until I stopped and fell on my knees with my arms stretched out to my sides. I was in the middle of a golf course that is close to my house...I was alone in the rain on this golf course getting poured on. And I loved it.

I laughed and I cried and I fell in love with the rain. It felt good. I just stood in one place with my head toward they sky. I couldn't tell the difference between the rain drops and my own tears. I felt like a human. I love moments where I feel nothing except for being real. Feelings so intense that it was like I could burst. Feelings mostly of gratitude.

This world is spectacular and I am so glad to be a part of it.

I find wonderment and excitement in the simplest of things. Part of the reason is a year ago from now I seriously contemplated ending my life. For some reason my eyes couldn't see the beauty of the world or the beauty in myself or the beauty in anything. I only saw darkness and only knew fear.

I am glad that awful state is over.

I have new eyes now-for so many reasons. And I am so thankful. So, so thankful.

And yes, I do love the rain!