Hi everyone. Today I am so, so thankful!!!
I got back to Washington early this morning...around 3 am. It was a good drive. I was glad that I didn't have to do it alone. Erika was an all-star-driving a lot of the way so I could sleep and have someone to talk to.
Being home was amazing for me. It seemed to go by too quickly. It was the first time since I came out that I dared to interact with close friends. I guess I was nervous to before...wondering how they would react and treat me. I wondered what they would say about me and how my gayness would effect our relationships. Well, I have an announcement!!! I have worlds best friends and (like I have mentioned time and time before) family!!!!!!
There are a lot of people I have lost contact with since high school, camp, and college but it was so great reconnecting over the holidays and talk openly about ALL aspects of life. I am pleased to announce that although some of the most important people in my life don't understand (which is okay because I don't understand either), they love me and still think I'm great. I actually had a few people tell me they love me more because I am finally sharing my entire self with them...instead of bits and pieces. I am thankful.
So here I am back in Washington with a heart that is so happy. I am happy that I associate with the kind of people I do. They are so, so beautiful to me and they make my life better and motivate me to be better.
So thanks guys! Really. With all the sincerity and thanks that a person can extend...thank you. Thank you for seeing me as a person-the same person you saw before. Thank you for talking and crying and loving with me.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
This year
After 14 hours I arrived at my parents home last night.
14 hours in the car is a long time. But, I dare say, I feel like it wasn't long enough. I loved my drive...(even though at the end my legs and bum were so, so sore and continued to be sore throughout the night) Having that much time in a car forced me to get to the core of myself and feel and think.
I thought about my year and things I have learned. It's been a good year. A hard year-perhaps the hardest of my life-but I have learned some important life lessons.
I have learned that you cannot love fully without fully loving yourself. I have learned that honesty is the most freeing of all things. I have learned words are powerful. Actions are even more powerful. And neither can be taken back. I have learned that time is the most precious and valuable of all things. And most importantly, I have learned that happiness cannot be obtained anywhere or from anything except within the walls of your own self.
I look forward to this new year and the things that await me.
14 hours in the car is a long time. But, I dare say, I feel like it wasn't long enough. I loved my drive...(even though at the end my legs and bum were so, so sore and continued to be sore throughout the night) Having that much time in a car forced me to get to the core of myself and feel and think.
I thought about my year and things I have learned. It's been a good year. A hard year-perhaps the hardest of my life-but I have learned some important life lessons.
I have learned that you cannot love fully without fully loving yourself. I have learned that honesty is the most freeing of all things. I have learned words are powerful. Actions are even more powerful. And neither can be taken back. I have learned that time is the most precious and valuable of all things. And most importantly, I have learned that happiness cannot be obtained anywhere or from anything except within the walls of your own self.
I look forward to this new year and the things that await me.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Celebration of Life
I went to a Celebration of Life today. Paul was certain that he wanted to have a Celebration of Life rather than a funeral for his sweet wife Lyn.
I was inspired.
I hardly knew Lyn. She lived in my basement for a couple months. I only talked to her a handful of times. But I talked and still talk to her husband everyday. I got to know Lyn fairly well today. What a wonderful woman-a woman who I would like to be more like!
Her eyes only saw beauty. She was excited to be alive and thanked God for her life daily. She loved children and her family and her husband. Most of all, she loved God.
She battled with cancer for nearly 8 years and throughout her battle she still saw beauty and kept her amazing outlook on life.
I am blessed to have known her-even for a short time.
I was inspired.
I hardly knew Lyn. She lived in my basement for a couple months. I only talked to her a handful of times. But I talked and still talk to her husband everyday. I got to know Lyn fairly well today. What a wonderful woman-a woman who I would like to be more like!
Her eyes only saw beauty. She was excited to be alive and thanked God for her life daily. She loved children and her family and her husband. Most of all, she loved God.
She battled with cancer for nearly 8 years and throughout her battle she still saw beauty and kept her amazing outlook on life.
I am blessed to have known her-even for a short time.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Time
Time is weird.
A couple weeks ago I was laughing and visiting with the lady who lives in the basement apartment where I live. She died Friday morning. She died of cancer.
Six months ago I was living and working in Utah. Now I go to visit Utah and when I refer to home I am referring to Washington.
The people I talked to everyday a year ago are people I never talk to now. The people I went to high school with, college with, the people I lived with...most are just memories now. Weird. Perhaps I catch up with some (can I even call it 'catch up) when I read their blogs or send an occasional email with the basic "How are you? What have you been up to?" But most of my very best friends from the past are people I hardly know.
Not only does it change how I look but it changes how I feel and think. It changes how I live (or if I live), it changes everything.
I like time sometimes. Other times I don't.
A couple weeks ago I was laughing and visiting with the lady who lives in the basement apartment where I live. She died Friday morning. She died of cancer.
Six months ago I was living and working in Utah. Now I go to visit Utah and when I refer to home I am referring to Washington.
The people I talked to everyday a year ago are people I never talk to now. The people I went to high school with, college with, the people I lived with...most are just memories now. Weird. Perhaps I catch up with some (can I even call it 'catch up) when I read their blogs or send an occasional email with the basic "How are you? What have you been up to?" But most of my very best friends from the past are people I hardly know.
Time allows people to fall in love and fall out of love. Time creates best friendships. Time allows hearts to heal. Time allows headaches to go away. It allows them to develop too. Time, about 9 months of time, creates a functional human. It creates a life.
I saw a picture of myself the other day...it was a picture that was taken a couple years ago. I didn't know that person anymore. So much life has happened to me. Time (or perhaps just life...or maybe a combination of both) has changed me.
I saw a picture of myself the other day...it was a picture that was taken a couple years ago. I didn't know that person anymore. So much life has happened to me. Time (or perhaps just life...or maybe a combination of both) has changed me.
Not only does it change how I look but it changes how I feel and think. It changes how I live (or if I live), it changes everything.
I like time sometimes. Other times I don't.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)