Leftovers

It is midnight and I am eating leftovers in bed!

I don't think I have ever had a panic attack or anything of the sort but today I had something that kinda felt like it...it was weird.

So I was thinking about my life a year ago from right now. And there isn't anything that's the same except that I have a wonderful family who loves me. It seems that everything that could change in a person's life has changed for me. Where I live, who I'm with (or not with), my friends, my sexual orientation (that really hasn't changed but a year ago most people thought I was straight), my job, not only my job but the kind of work I do, I had two adorable dogs 12 months ago, a different car, I lived in a small town-now I live in Seattle...change, change, change. I crave something consistent right now.

Perhaps the weirdness that happened today-not sure if I can call it a panic attack because I wasn't worried or anything... was just a few moments of feeling overwhelmed and hoping that a year from now is somewhat similar to how it is now.

My mom said it best when I talked to her today. Change, even good change, is still sometimes so hard because we get comfortable where we are. Change certainly is not comfortable.

The changes that have occurred in my life are good but so much change in so little time...it has been hard to wrap myself around all the changes. I am sitting in bed with leftovers next to me trying to get used to it...