My life is currently a dream. Or a nightmare. Whatever it is, it doesnt feel real. I tried to have a great day today but I kept learning more and more news that has left my heart and mind paralyzed. I have seen the true colors of people who are so close to me. People that I love. I have seen them do things that I never thought imaginable. And then i have heard them lie about it. To my face. Over and over and over. At first I was mad. Then I felt sad for them. Because they are better then what they are doing. I believe that people have all sorts of sides to them and have the capcity to be great at times and really shitty at other times. I believe it is easy to get lost and forget what's important. It is easy to get off center. I'm so sad about the current circumstances and the people who have hurt me. But it encourages me to stay centered. It encourages me to welcome good and beautiful things into my life. And it encourages me to rely on God- even more than normal.