I could relate

There are certain things that people do to help them stay centered. Becka runs. My mom used to run. Now she gardens. My dad swims. I'm not sure what Jami does- I think it would be hard to do anything when you have 2 kids and 1 on the way- but Jami has a very artistic mind- so I would think she probably does artsy things. Jess exercises. I would say Nils reads the scriptures and Curtis sings - although I'm not positive.

I write.

I have a friend that recently confided in me. This particular person talked about an eating struggle that they have had to deal with for years and years - and this person is really embarrassed by it. This person, who I will call Jane, said she participated in these certain eating habits- even though she knew better and didn't want to. It was almost like she couldn't help herself.

We talked and talked and talked and while she felt like she was the only one who had an issue like this, I could relate.

I've never had an eating problem but in my recent past I have said things that I didn't mean. It was like I couldn't help myself. Would I move to Boston? Or Colorado? Or anywhere else in the world? Yes, yes I would. But I said no. I said no without hesitation. I said that I wouldn't pick up and move again - because I did it just 4 years ago. I said no because at the moment, I was scared of the unknown. But yes, of course I would move - if the situation was right. For love, for work, for a new experience and opportunity - I would totally go! But I said no - and I'm not sure why I did. Speaking of yesterdays post, perhaps I closed a possibly wide open door! But there are other open doors - and more will open.

Staying centered and having my words and actions portray the feelings of my heart and soul is sometimes a struggle. But I long for it. I long for that to be my normal. When I am the person that my soul wants me to be I feel happy and content and good and like I can conquer the world. I feel like I'm on fire.

Writing helps me stay there.

So I will write. A lot.