Back to Seattle

I'm sitting on an airplane 30,000 feet in the air. People around me are mostly sleeping; a few are reading. Im lost in my thoughts.

I had a great time at home! I love being home. I love Utah. The mountains and the blue sky and the sun... Not to mention my family and friends... I really hope that someday I will go back- for good.

My mom seems to be doing well and I'm thrilled about it! She amazes me with her ability to stay positive even though her situation sucks. I admire her a lot- she is worlds best mom.

I was home for fathers day - which was also Tol's birthday and the anniversary of Ashley's death. It was a great day to be grateful and I surrounded myself with loved ones and beautiful places. Spending a sunny afternoon at Snowbird on such a significant day was incredible! I'm so thankful for my dad and my nephew - and I can hardly believe how much someone can learn by losing someone they love. I think of Ashley daily and am so thankful for the lasting impact she has had on my life.

So- I'm headed back to Seattle - and I'm going with determination and a heart full of love. My heart has been heavy and hurting but I've learned that it can be filled with love and hope at the same time. Sometimes you learn things about yourself that are hard to swallow- but they are motivating and life changing. And sometimes you drift from people you love - people you love and people who have completely changed your life- and its sad. But it is totally necesary because I am creating a heart that has the capacity to love fully. and deeply. And there is someone incredible that is going to get it.

So - determination and hope. I'm determined to continue working hard to find continuous peace in my heart with who I am. I am very hopeful. Annd that makes me happy happy.

And you can count of the fact that I'm going to continue to have a whole lot of fun!!