Closet finds

When I got home from work today I completely tore apart the two (small) closets I have in my little house because I've been looking for something and I've been going nuts because I can't find it. I did find the missing thing I was looking for, and I also found other things that made me laugh and cry and remember and reflect.

I found pictures of people from my past. Of Ashely and Jamie and the pups Supa and Koda. And I found pictures of Becka from the start of our relationship and a few pictures of Derek and Brad, too. I found old pictures of myself - but the person in those particular pictures doesn't exist anymore. It's amazing how much someone can change in a few short years.

Among my favorite closet finds was a birthday card I received from Jamie on my 25th birthday. Jamie was my first love - it was fun to read about our young love and how crazy we were about each other. But it was also sad because it reminded me how scared and unsure I was of myself. It reminded me of the self doubt and self hatred I experienced. I'm incredibly thankful to be far from that place!

Finding all of these things from my past made me want to call a lot of people and thank them and love them. Especially the people I have been in relationships with. One of the worst things about breaking up is that a lot of the time, you can't be friends anymore. Which is a  total bummer because I have dated really awesome people - amazing people that have come in and transformed me. I am so thankful for the people who have been closest to me throughout my life. And I miss them. And wonder what they are up to and how they are doing.

Life is a beautiful, beautiful thing. We experience good things and bad things. We experience self doubt and self hatred but we also (hopefully) experience joy and happiness. Our hearts break but they get better again and they love again and that's amazing. We live in a big beautiful world with so many incredible sights and sounds and people. And we have the opportunity to experience those things how ever we want. And that is awesome!

I'm happy about my closet finds. And for finding the missing thing.