Being human

I feel good. And relieved. And excited. My life is so bright and, believe it or not, things are getting brighter.

Forgiving myself is hard. Letting go of mistakes and guilt and shame is hard. Forgiving other people, for me, is simple.

But I'm learning. And it feels so good.

Part of being human is making mistakes. And sometimes our mistakes hurt the people we care about. Sometimes they hurt those people a lot. Sometimes our mistakes end relationships. Sometimes our mistakes make it hard for us to recognize who we are looking at in the mirror.

I have made some of those mistakes - the kind that hurt other people and the kind that hurt the relationship I have with myself.

But I am a human.

Learning is also being human. And I am learning. I am learning a lot.

I am learning that happiness/sadness/guilt/shame comes within my own self and that the things in my life are simply an expression of that happiness/sadness/guilt/shame. Nobody or nothing can make me feel anything. I can't make anyone else feel anything either. I can only be a expression. Whatever anyone else has or feels has nothing to do with me considering or despite my mistakes.

The only thing life has given me is life itself. I can make it what I want. It's hard to make it what I want when I'm buried by guilt and shame. So, because of that, I am so thankful that I am learning to let go and forgive myself for mistakes I have made. Life is a beautiful thing. People are the most beautiful of all.