My day

Who am I kidding? I didn't become a regular blogger until I 'came out' but decided I didn't want to only focus on gay topics or being a gay person. I am other things too you know. I am good at basketball. I'm not a good singer but really, really wish I was. I am can sale just about anything. I consider most people my friend-or a potential friend and I have worlds cutest dog. But gosh dang it, despite all of that, I feel like I am being forced to focus on gay type issues.

My name is Chelsea Nelson and I will continue with my story.

I don't need to start with a horrible episode in the life of Chelsea. I don't need to give the details of the day I went to Bill Bernards garage with a gun with the plan to shoot myself. Or a day of the years of severe depression when I pleaded to God to take my life so I could stop thinking about doing it. I don't need to talk about how hard it was to wear the smile that I put on my face throughout middle and high school or how it felt like every word of praise from family and friends were the things that kept me alive. I will start by telling you about today.

Today started great! It was a beautiful day in Seattle! I swear, the day I neglect to see the beauty of this place is the day I will move. I got up, got ready for work, and was on my way. I was stuck in traffic-which is typical- so I turned on music and sang with the radio. I had 2 big meetings today so I rehersed my presentations in my head and then outloud. I looked good this morning- I recently bought some new work clothes which included 2 new suits and today I wore the black one. When I got to work 2 coworkers were sitting in my office. Sidenote: I started my new job about 2 months ago and decided to bring in a few pictures yesterday. One of my family. One of my neice and nephew. And one of Becka (my girlfriend) and I. My coworkers started to tell me that my family is beautiful and that Tol and Addi are the cutest kids they've seen. Then one asked who my friend was. I said, 'That's my girlfriend Becka." "Why don't you have pictures of your other girlfriends?" "No. She is my girlfriend- my partner." Blank stare. "I am gay." "Oooooh" Blank stare. Awkward silence. "We need to get back to work." They left.

A few minutes later one of them comes back.

"Sorry about that. Sue (not real name) isn't comfortable with gay people." "Oh thats okay." "We had wondered if you were gay. We asked Joe (not real name) if you were last week and he said he thought so." "Well, Joe was right." "Oh sorry-was that awkward?" "Umm, yes. But its okay. Next time you have a question about my personal life, feel free to ask me." "Sorry Chelsea. I better get back to work."

Then later from same person via email. work stuff. blah blah blah- but this is how it ended. "I just saw all these reports of gay teen suicides on facebook. What do you think about all of this."

This, among a lot, lot more is what I wanted to say.

These kids killed themselves because they don't feel like people. They don't feel like people because people treat them like aliens. These kids were taught in elementry school that they can be whatever they want to be. They can be doctors, professional athletes, artists, musicians, ANYTHING- except gay. It's true. Kids learn from adults. They learn from TV. Kids are smart. They listen to what we say. And what are we saying? Gays can't get married, gays can't serve in the military- they can die for their country but only if they lie about who they are, and they can't be a member of a church they absolutely believe in and love.

I wanted to continue with, "please don't bring up my personal life anymore. And I wont bring up yours either. And if we become friends later on and we have a sincere interest in each others lives, then we can talk about these kinds of things."

Now I am home and I am going to get ready to go to the gym. After that, I am going to eat dinner and get ready for tomorrow, and maybe read a book. And I am going to respond to a few emails from friends who wrote to express their acceptance after the talk given by Elder Packer. And I am going to tell them that I still love the church. Because I do.

Love is the only thing I believe in right now.