I only like being an adult

I don't love being an adult. I just like it.

When I was a kid I could do anything. Seriously. I could fly and lift mountains and kill bad guys and I was sure to make a wish on every star. I wished for things like for everyone in the entire world to be happy or that I would be the first girl in the NBA.

One of my favorite parts of visiting my sister in Minnesota was hanging out with Tolman and Addison. I am in awe of them and how their minds work. One moment we are on a boat (blanket) throwing (make believe) food to the fish but not to the sharks (because sharks are mean and eat people) and the next minute Addison is my teacher teaching me the rules of the classroom.

I went star gazing with Tol and he asked me what it'd be like if we lived in space. We laughed and laughed as we imagined how fun it would be to float around all the time and drive spaceships instead of cars.

Being an adult is boring. We don't dance as much or skip or hold hands just because. We don't let go of our imaginations and we have a harder time finding shapes in the clouds. Or maybe we just forget to look up. Everything seems to be so serious when you're an adult. I miss the days of being a kid.

I miss (parts of) high school because the only thing I worried about was basketball practice and occasianally filling my weekends with friends. I miss Brighton Camp and all the singing and daily conversation about God and the beauty of the earth. There certainly wasn't talk about work or money or the sad things that we hear on the news.

I miss the days in Logan when I was taking little tiny baby steps into adulthood. I would go to class and listen to my professors and be amazed at their experience and knowledge. I hoped that I'd be that wise someday. I would lay on the grass at the elementary school and stare at the stars and vocalize my dreams. Supa and Koda would lick my face and bring me back from the clouds. I miss sitting on the ropes course platform feeling like I was on the top of the world. And I was. I was on top of my world. I had all the clarity I needed on what to do and how to be happy- just love everything- and I was beginning to.

And now I am an adult. I have been for awhile but not wanting to admit it. When I go to the fountain in Seattle I usually watch kids play in it instead of playing in it myself. BORING! When I hear music I don't always dance-even when I want to. I am on the computer more than I am outside. Depressing. And I haven't searched for all the shapes in the clouds in a long, long time. It is time to be more like a child. Who is with me?!