Supa and Koda

I have spent a lot of time thinking and remembering today.

I remember going to Body World at the library in Salt Lake a couple months ago. While I was there I learned that a person can die from a broken heart. I don't like that. I rather die from old age, or from being shot, or burnt than die from a broken heart. My heart has been broken before-it was the worst pain I have ever felt.

Today I remembered a particular day I went cross country skiing with Supa and Koda-they were my pups...I wish I had pictures of them to post. I don't. I don't have a single picture because my computer broke...and they were all erased. I thought about how they were like babies...how people would stop me wherever I was to tell me how cute they were. They were perfect dogs. I miss them.

I remembered the day I bought my house. I was so excited. I remember building the fence and finishing the hardwood floors and painting and learning a little about electrical stuff. I am trying to sell my house right now.

I remembered how excited I was to move to Washington-and then when I got in the truck to actually drive here I was devastated with my decision. I realized I was completely impulsive-that I was leaving everything and everyone that meant something to be to blaze a new trail-a trail that I am now happy as ever to be on.

I remembered going to a Jazz game with my dad-back in the day when they played in the Salt Palace. I sat on his lap and he spoke very intently about the game. I could feel his passion for it. He passed the passion to me.

I remembered my friend Krista. She was my friend and teammate in highschool. She committed suicide her senior year. She was an all-star. After she died I knew that people who appear to be happy on the outside might be dying on the inside. Krista appeared to be the happiest of happy!

I remembered going to Disney Land with my family. Tolman wanted to keep going on Its a Small World-or maybe he just wanted us to sing it over and over. I remember his face as we were on the ride. He was in heaven.

I remembered what it was like when life was a little simpler-the days when I could roll out of bed and change my shirt if I wanted and head to school. I'd walk up and down the halls saying hi to as many people that I passed and go to class only if I wanted. I would go to basketball practice and daydream about being great, I would joke with teammates about everything-that was Chelsea- the practical joker- and talk about what I wanted to eat for dinner.

I remembered when I was more confident. More confident and more sure of, well, everything.