Highs and Lows

Soooooooo much to write about.

First, today I feel better. The last few days, maybe last few weeks I was feeling a little down-not like normal, happy go-lucky, always look on the bright side of things Chelsea.

There was a moment I even considered moving back to Utah. When that thought entered, I had to seriously take a look at where these thoughts/feelings were coming from to determine how seriously I should consider these ideas that would pop into my mind.

I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my house in Logan and my puppies that I had to give away. I miss the Utah bubble. I miss being around people who understand the Mormon religion-around people who I don't have to defend or debate the religion with. I miss my siblings. I realize I already said that I miss my family but I really miss my family.

But I am happy to say that my thought of moving home was merely a thought-that when I took time with Chelsea for Chelsea I determined where that idea came from. My health hasn't been great, my job is really changing, and although I have good friends here, I haven't had the time and experience with them that really creates lifelong lasting relationships. Sooo...all of this points to one thing...I am searching for something consistent in my life because there really isn't anything consistent right now...and the thing that is always and will always be consistent is my family and the love we have for each other.

Now lets update my readers on the happenings in Washington.

The weather is great! Around 80 degrees right now-and people complain that it's too hot. I laugh as I think about my days on the ropes course. 100-107 degrees all summer. And then I think of my brother in Arizona. HOT HOT HOT! I have been experiencing some of Washington's recreation lately. Over Memorial Day weekend I went camping. It was great. There was a group of about 25 girls who went. We went to Eastern Washington-it reminded me of Utah. Becka and I and a friend named Erica went kayaking last week. We went to Lake Union...I think (so many bodies of water-I get mixed up). We had a great view of the city-and looking at the city made my mind go crazy. Its interesting that somebody decided to build a city in a location that is literally surrounded by water. But whatever-it seems to work.

I am feeling a little more confident getting around but I still struggle. Finding an address without my GPS is nearly impossible. I don't know how people do it. I used to pride myself in my sense of direction and ability to get places but man oh man...not anymore. I feel lost 80% of the time.

Now to a low point in the last few weeks.
This is Shirley. She was involved in a hate crime a couple weeks ago. She was at a club in Seattle with some friends and when she went outside she was beaten by a big burly guy who kept telling her she should die because of her sexual orientation-while his friends circled up around them-not allowing anyone to help her.I had only met Shirley a few times before this happened and was introduced to the story from a mutual friend. When I heard about it, I wished there was something I could do to help. I was just contacted a few hours ago asking if I could write out my story and if I have any contacts to share Shirley's story with. Yes, yes and yes. I was told that the more people who know what happened, the better. I agree.

I have written about this before but let me touch on the topic again...

Why is it important that people live the same way we do. Why is it important that we all have the same ideas and beliefs. Why is it important that we love only the people who are like us?

I used to be a camp counselor. On Monday nights I would take my campers to Centry Rock. Before we got to the rock though I would tell them to go find something in nature that they thought was pretty. A rock, a leaf, a stick-anything they could carry. Then we would sit on the rock and watch the sunset. We would talk about how pretty it was. How perfect that moment on the rock with the sun setting and the sky turning every color of the rainbow was. Then we would discuss how boring it would be if every sunset, every tree, every rock, every leaf were the same.... and then the discussion would move to people-how boring the world would be if we were all the same. But sometimes we hate what is different. And I don't understand.

Yes, I can understand that people think that being gay is gross and I can understand that people might think its weird. But I cannot understand how someone could feel soo strongly about it-strong enough to want to kill-and yes...killing Shirley was the intention.

Most of my friends in Washington are gay. They are normal. They are just like me. Most battled with it for along time-wishing they weren't but realizing they couldn't fight who they were born to be. They are people who have dreams, who want families, who get soo sad with the fact they in society, they aren't normal-that they don't have the same rights as the person across the street because of the person they love. We are upstanding citizens-with good jobs and who like volunteering in the community. We love to laugh and have fun and we like doing silly things. When we get sad or happy we like to talk to our parents or siblings or best friends.

Maybe some of us have unusual haircuts and maybe some of us dress a little different. But once you look into our hearts and our minds, we really aren't that different. No, not different at all.