Thanksgiving

Okay, okay. I know that I just barely posted the 5k results post but I felt that needed its own separate post. Or perhaps Thanksgiving needs its own post.

Thanksgiving started while I was running a few miles and I made it a goal to try and think of all the things I am thankful for while I was running. I did. And I was still listing things off when I finished.

Check out this table!! My mom is amazing!

At dinner (which was AMAZING! Best Thanksgiving spread I've ever had!) my uncle Doug mentioned how it was printed in the newspaper that Thanksgiving is the least commercialized holiday. That started a short discussion about the pure nature of being Thankful. Being Thankful is the most important thing I can be in my life. It is better than being rich, having nice things, having a lot of friends, going on a lot of trips...you get what I'm saying. Being Thankful is the best! No matter what you have or what you don't have you feel thankful.

Since it was Thanksgiving two days ago I feel it's appropriate to list a few of the things I am thankful for:

My family. And I am not just talking about my immediate family. I am talking about the new family I have created in Washington. The family I left in Logan. All the people who I love dearly and who I know love me in return.

My body. I am so thankful I have a body that allows me to do what I love to do.

Beauty. I am thankful for the beauty in this world. Beautiful places, beautiful music, beautiful people. There is so much beauty all around us every second if we have the eyes to see it.

Reading and writing. Particularly writing. It clears my mind and give me new ideas. Reading the stories of others offers new perspectives and extends hope.

Work. I am thankful for work. At the Thanksgiving dinner table it is a Nelson tradition to go around the table and say things you're thankful for. My grandma mentioned how she is thankful for some of the things she had to go without and then mentioned how she is thankful for the opportunity to work. Then she told us some of the things she has experienced...my grandma never ate a turkey for Thanksgiving. They didn't have the money to buy one. Instead her dad would kill a few chickens and they'd eat those. The first time she ate a turkey is when her older brother John, who was a doctor, sent her family $5 in the mail to go buy a turkey. She grew up without a furnace...at night she would get in her bed under her covers and she described how she could see breath because it was so cold. Then she talked about work and how hard work. I felt real thankful right then and I have felt thankful since for the opportunity I have to work.

Experiences. Everyday we are blessed to have different experiences. We can meet new friends, make a difference for ourselves or other people. Or we can be idle and choose not to have those experiences. I am also thankful for the ability to choose.

I am thankful for the sun. The sun is symbolic for the things I want my life to represent. It is consistent. I can count on it. Everything it touches is better. It makes people smile and happy. It provides life and warmth. I could go on and on about the sun. I just am real, real thankful for it. I love it!

That is a basic list. I won't go into other things because I can't describe certain things. Like not too long ago I was on a flight and as the plane took off I burst into tears because I felt so thankful to live in a day when our technologies are so advanced. My family and friends made fun of me for that one.

I am thankful for a thankful heart. I am more thankful for that than anything. My parents taught me to look on the bright side of things-to be thankful for the big things and the little things and even the hard things. I strive to do that everyday.

Let's be thankful everybody! Let's be thankful every single day!

5k results

Before the race!!

Curtis and I showing off our stellar running outfits

After the race. The entire Nelson clan!! Way to go family!! Sure love you!!!

My family ran 3.1 miles Thanksgiving morning. We woke up around 6am-maybe 6:30 and headed to the starting line. We met up with about 3,000 other people who wanted to start their Thanksgiving off with a little run. All of the proceeds of the race went to help the homeless. What a great idea! And what a fun (new) Nelson tradition!

I can't really explain what it means to do these kinds of activities with my dad. Saying it means a lot doesn't quite describe the emotions. I remember the days I didn't think he was going to be around much longer, when there was talk of wheel chair ramps at the house, when he walked into my basketball games and sat in the first available seat because he didn't have enough energy to walk any further. Not only did he run a 5k on Thanksgiving morn, he beat half the family! Way to go dad! And thank you for being the best example to me of keeping a good attitude and never giving up! You are certainly an inspiration!

5k on Thanksgiving? Really?!

I am home for Thanksgiving! It's great to be home.

For some reason my family had a great idea of running a 5k Thanksgiving morning...so I guess that is what I'll be doing in the morning. Interesting. I haven't gone running for quite sometime. I hate running. But I will run tomorrow with a smile on my face as I reflect on all the things I am thankful for-and I am thankful for a lot so it will get me through the 30 or so minutes of running (I am optimistic that I will be able to run 10 minute miles!!).

When I walked into my parents house last night I noticed a few changes. including a plaque like thing with a quote by President Monson. I love it so I will share it!

The past is over; learn from it.
The future is near; prepare for it.
The present is now; LIVE IN IT!!

Globes

So I had a weird thought today...

I have always had a slight obsession with globes. I think it started when I was in 5th or 6th grade. I would look at the globe, close my eyes, spin it and wonder where my finger would land. Most of the time it landed in the water but whenever it landed on land, I would day dream about what people were doing in that particular part of the world.

Maybe that is where my dream of traveling began. It became real to me that people populated the world; that when I looked at a globe each differing colored area represented a place where people lived. It made me visualize the millions and billions of people who live in the world and it made me realize I want to go visit with as many as possible.

I'm in Washington. I'm not too far from home-just a couple centimeters away when looking at a globe.

My weird thought happened after my basketball game. First of all, my team got murdered. We got beat by at least 25 points (but I will have you know that I scored 17 points!!). After the game I stayed for a bit to wind down and watch the game after. And it made me think, people are probably playing this silly game all over the globe because I know they are in Utah-I used to play in Utah-when I lived in West Jordan and Logan. The thoughts kept coming and coming...I wasn't literally looking at a globe but I was imaging it in my mind. I was remembering experiences I had when I was in Europe playing basketball. I played with random people in a church building. And one time I played at a park in New York. And then I remembered my buddy Charley who lived in Peru-we played basketball together and he thought I was magic because I could spin a ball on my finger. Then I started thinking about this guy that I passed while I was driving to California years ago. He was standing pumping gas as I drove by. I remember him because as I passed him I thought, "I will probably never see that man again. I wonder if he is a good man. I wonder if we would be friends. I wonder about his family." The man had a white beard and had kind eyes. I remembered that he smiled at me. I'll never forget that man and I hope he's doing well. And then I started thinking about all the people in the entire world who make a simple globe come to life. And then I remembered that all of those people, all of the billions and billions of people are children of God. And then I was amazed.

I am still amazed and I am grateful.

Lunch Break

Today while I was working I was having a hard time focusing because it was soo pretty outside and I wanted to play. So, I decided that i was going to enjoy the weather during my lunch break. Here are a few pictures.Please remember that these pictures are taken in my backyard. Literally. This is my backyard!! The picture above was taken from my deck.

Before I moved out here, I was told that I wouldn't see blue skies October-June. Well, today is November 17 and I have seen a lot of blue skies lately! Washington is a beautiful state! Sure, it rains but it hasn't been as much as people made me believe.

All in all, it was an awesome way to spend the hour (okay, maybe I was out a little longer than an hour). Being outside makes me know God lives and loves me.

I decided while I was out that my friends and I are going to have boat making contents. We are going to make them and race them. haha. That post will certainly be coming in the future. Get ready!!!

Just something to think about...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mom!!

Today has been a weird day.

I called my mom at midnight to wish her a happy birthday. She is in St. George with her friend Chantell (I have no idea if I am spelling her name right). My mom was laughing the way I used to laugh when I had slumber parties with my friends. She was being so silly. I laughed because she was laughing.

I went to work but while I was working I had my mom in my mind. I went to Edmonds-which is right next to the water. I had to go to a building that is literally on the water. The west side of the building is on stilits that go into the water. Then I went and sat on a log that was on the beach. I thought of my mom.

I was driving home when my grandpa called. It was random that he called because I was thinking of him earlier as I was getting ready for my day. I was imagining my mom as a little baby wrapped in blakets as my grandparents held and rocked her. I felt grateful for my grandparents for raising such an amazing woman. I imagined my mom as a little girl-the high hopes she must have had. The nights she had with friends dreaming and laughing about her futre. I imagined being her friend-growing up along side her. I imagined what our conversations would have been like.

Today I learned again that life is different from what we except. My moms life is entirely different from the expectations she had-perhaps she is no different from the majority of all people in that regard. BUT through it all, she has kept eyes to see goodness.

My mom is my hero. My mom is my inspiration. My mom is my strength. Because of her I see perfection in imperfection.

Since it is her birthday, and since I feel every person would be better if they knew her, I will recommend you going to this link to learn more about my mom!

http://chelbel314.blogspot.com/2008/10/once-again-my-mom.html

To Megan...

My friend (although I have never met her) commented on my last post. She mentioned how I helped her understand her brother a little more...

I am nothing more than a girl who has had her own convictions and experiences and A LOT of those esperiences have been with God and feel like I know Him. I love Him. I write only from my own experience and I realize that some of the things I feel and believe might be different from the things you feel and believe-and that is okay. No argument needed-only room for acceptance, love, and compromise.

So, to my friend Megan, I feel happy that I have given you perhaps a new perspective on the struggles your brother has faced and is still facing. I don't know why or how but I am blessed with an amazing family who is nothing but supportive and encouraging of my desire to find peace and happiness. I wouldn't write so candidly about my experiences and feelings without their support. I would still be stuck in the bottomless pit of self hatred and desperation without their love.

They are the true teachers. They radiate love and compassion in everything they do. They are the best Christians I know.

Perhaps I am wrong but I feel every person has a few similarities (aside from the basic complexity of anatomy). I believe that the thing every person wants, above all things, is love. And I'm not talking about the love you get from your mom and dad and grandma and grandpa (although those things are irreplaceable), I am talking about the in love kind of love. The love that makes you giddy inside. The love that has painted our minds through music, TV, movies and books. We work for that kind of love since we're little. In middle and high school we wake up, get ready, try and look attractive to the person we are attracted to. We start going to parties and other social gatherings hoping to see the cute boy or girl we are crushing on. We lose sleep, appetites, and focus when we think about the person. And eventually, they become our other and better half and there is nothing else in the world that you want-except for maybe kids down the road.

If we have an understanding of our own lives, of our own desires, it might make it easier to understand the actions of others. (Once again) It is my belief that no person is gay to make life harder for themselves, their families, or anyone. People are gay because that person they are attracted to, the person they lose sleep, appetites, and focus on, and the person they long to start a life with is a person of the same sex. But perhaps there isn't a particular person at all-perhaps there is just hope of a person-and the person that is hoped for is a member of the same sex because that is what is attractive to them.

My world is a bubble sometimes. I like it that way. I know that people are promiscuous. That love, for moments at a time, is secondary to personal (and sexual) gratification. That is a topic I can't write about because I don't understand it.

My hat goes off to my family (and my heart is overflowing with deep appreciation that is impossible to express in words). In a recent email my mom sent to me she said, (and this was literally cut and pasted from the email to my blog):

"I know you are a fighter and a survivor. I was telling Jami that I feel so bad that my kids are so used to surviving. I wish with all my heart that life would be easier for the Nelsons for just a time. But, we have each other, and with that, we have EVERYTHING!"

Yes, because I have my family, I feel I have everything!!!

It is the most unfortunate of all when people break the family bond because someone is gay, or having other issues that aren't 'normal'...because family is everything.

So to Megan, and people in Megan's situation, consider your own desires and the things that mean most to you. Consider the things that you wanted ever since you were a little girl. I can only guess that you wanted Prince Charming to come sweep you off your feet (and from looking at your cute blog, it seems he has). Again, it's only a guess but I guess that those same desires are the desires your brother has-they are only expressed it different ways.

People are quick to look at differences we have. Black, white, gay, straight, republican, democrat, Christian, Muslim...This list could go on and on. In the quiet hours of the night and when I am stuck in my own thoughts (which happens way more often then I like to admit), I think of what it would be like if people would be quick to look at our similarities instead.

We aren't that different after all.

Prop 8

Perhaps I am too open on my blog but I just got off the phone with my sister and she encouraged me to write about my feelings...so here I go.

Proposition 8.

Soo many things have been written and said about Prop 8. I will add a little more.

I love love. I have been in love a few times in my life and it makes me happy. Love makes me feel like I am on top of the world, like I can do anything. I love having someone in my life that I can rely on for anything and who can rely on me too. I love thinking about future...thinking about creating my life with someone. I have tried starting a life with people in the past, but it was nearly impossible because I wasn't comfortable or honest about who I was.

Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamt of getting married and having my little kids run around my house. When I was 6, maybe 7, I started making a book of things I want to do with my kids. Not sure where that book is now...its in a box at my parents house but I have certainly added to the list of things I want to do with my kids in my mind and heart.

I don't want to get married because most of my friends are married. I want to get married because I want to get married. I want to get married because marriage is the ultimate symbol of love and commitment. The kind of love and commitment that I imagine every person wants-I dream of it, I long for it. I want it more than I want anything-as I'm sure most people do.

I don't argue with any person for having their opinion regarding same sex marriage. We can all have our own opinions. But how (and why) can any person look at two people who love each other and say that they can't get married. Shouldn't marriage be a right every person should enjoy?

My dad asked me today why we (gay people) can't just call it something different. A civil union instead of marriage. I don't want a civil union because I want to get married. I want to participate in a wedding-not because a wedding itself is important but because weddings are the event that bind people. I want to get married because my parents did, my sister did-everyone I love and admire and want to be like did. They don't have civil unions, they have marriages. I want to get married and make my marriage happy and successful because there is nothing else a person can do that shows more love. I want to get married for the same reasons all my friends wanted (and did) get married. I want to find a person, ONE PERSON, who I want to share the rest of my life with. Why don't I just live with that person? Why didn't my parents? Why didn't my friends? Because people want to get married to the person they love.

At this moment in my life, I am nowhere close to getting married. But I hope for it someday. I pray for it even.

But then the discussion about the church comes up.

For anyone who knows me well knows that I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I love the gospel. I have a testimony in the prophet Joseph Smith and I have a testimony that Gordon B Hinckley was a prophet too. I haven't asked God if Thomas S Monson is a prophet but I have faith that he is.

So right now I am struggling. How can I have a testimony in the church and embrace the lifestyle I am living and support things like gay marriage? I thought coming out would give me soo much peace and assurance. It has a little but I'm still having a hard time.

We are taught that the gospel is a plan of happiness. President Hinckley said that the members of the church of Jesus Christ should be the happiest people in the world because they have the knowledge of the gospel. He did not say that some members, or most members, he said all members. And there are gay members of the church. There are a lot of them. Unfortunately there are too many who, because they aren't accepted in the walls of churches, leave and become hard-trying to find peace elsewhere.

I don't have a conclusion. I don't know what is right. I am left with my own thoughts and literature regarding the topic. The love God has for me is a miracle-God is a miracle-God is soo good and awesome and when I think about Him I am humbled. I don't think I am a disappointment to Him, I have faith that He understands I fought and tried to rid myself of things that weren't 'right'. I believe He understands that if I didn't accept certain truths about myself, that I may not be here, that a life of depression and sadness is not a life for any of His children to live.

Elder Holland said it when asked about homosexuality, "We don't have all the answers."

We don't have all the answers. But God does. And according to the poster that was in my high school English classroom, "God made me so I know I'm not junk. I was made this way..."

Things that make me me

There are a few things that make Chelsea Chelsea.
I am going to list the top 10. They are in no particular order.

10. I love being outside
9. I love people
8. I love to play basketball
7. I love my family
6. I love to write
5. I love to be active
4. I love good food
3. I love NBA basketball season
2. I love taking pictures
1. I love to learn

Things are good right now because I am associating with all of those things-completing the list tonight because I have my first basketball game!!

I am proud to me an American

I was going to ignore the desire I have to write about the results of the presidential election that just passed BUT after reading some thoughts regarding Obama off some of the blogs of friends, I decided to write.

The night the world learned that Barack Obama is going to be out next president is comparable to September 11th in the fact that I will never forget where I was or what I was doing.

I was at Diana and Rose's home. We were playing games and eating delicious food. The TV was on in the background. Taboo was the game we were playing, I was sitting next to Diana...someone pointed to the TV and said, "Guys! Look!" I looked at the TV but was focusing on Diana because it seemed she was going to have a panic attack. She couldn't breath...but all of a sudden she started clapping and a few tears streamed down her face. I was glad to know she was okay...and I turned to watch the TV.

November 4, 2008 is significant for soo many reasons.

It is a testimony to me that the world, or America, is moving toward equality. We are far from it but Barack Obama is living evidence of the progress America has made. He is a symbol of change and hope and freedom.

My heart sinks a little when I read accusations based on false information though (which takes me back to reality that true eqaulity is far from being reached). He is muslim, the anti-christ, and he doesn't even have a US birth certificate. Martin Luther King's dream of people not being judged by the color of their skin is still only a dream.

I am choosing not to write about my political views on my blog. I realize politics are a delicate subject. I am choosing to write about the pride and emotion that overcame my entire self with the announcement of our new president.

I recently posted on my blog that I am part of a major minority group. I am part of a minority group that doesn't have the rights and privledges that others partake in everyday. Can you imagine what it would be like if a gay man or woman wanted to run for the president of the United States?! I am guessing it might be similar to the reaction Obama may have gotten if he wanted to run for president in the 70's, 80's and possibly even the 90's. My sexual orientation would not dictate my ability to run a country, just as it wouldn't dictate my ability to do any job. But nonetheless, no gay person in this present day would have the opportunity to become the president of the United States.

Barack Obama is a symbol to every person who currently or previously has lived without freedom. Or maybe to every person who hopes for the day when noone will have to live without freedom. We indeed live in a free country but to some there are limits and boundries on the most basic freedoms people enjoy. Love, marriage, family-the three things that, in my opinion, life is all about.

Here is to a possibility of great, great change and to our new president.

More than anyother time in my life, I am proud to be an American!!

Some pictures...for Angie

Angie has asked me about pictures... so, Ang, this is for you and for anyone else wondering what my new enviorment looks like...

This is the view out of my front window!!! I have an inflatable boat. You better believe we were out on that boat today!

These pics were taken on a nice little drive in Lake Stevens. I don't like in Lake Stevens anymore but did up until a few days ago. These pictures certainly represent what most roads look like where I am. It is absolutely beautiful! Especially right now during fall.

This pic was in an elevator that had a mirror as the ceiling. I was totally captivated!

This is my friend Greg. I hardly know the guy but he randomly called me and we went to Seattle for a couple hours the other day. It was my first time to Pikes Place Market since I've lived here...it is a real fun place to spend a couple hours. Every now and again I am amazed that this is the place I live. Washington is a beautiful place!

This was interesting. There was a guy who was washing his clothes in the fountain.One of the first weekends I was here, Erika took me up to Bellingham-which might be one of the prettiest places I have ever seen. This pic was taken in a road called ChuckaNut. I love that name! I kept trying to find reasons to say it. It made me smile, and still makes me smile, when I say (and type) that word.
I know this isn't much but its a start. I will be better at posting pics of my experience in this crazy place called Washington!

The place I call home

I am at my new home. (yes, that is right. I have moved for the THIRD time in three months. I am confident that I will be staying here for awhile. No more moving!) It feels good here. I am looking out at the river, or perhaps just a big stream, that is in my backyard. The other night my friend/coworker stayed at my house and had a dream that the river was going to flood my new house. It won't. I want to go swim and kayak in the river. Its a perfect place to practice a kayak roll.

There are trees right outside the window. And there are trees on the hills behind the golf course (which is behind the river). It really is a beautiful view.

Out front there is a trail that people bike on. I want a road bike. It seems a lot of people here have road bikes. I want the spandex outfit too. I will look good in spandex.

The bathroom has a sweet Seattle skyscraper mirror in it. I laugh when I see it. The kitchen is nice. The microwave is confusing. It's too high tech.

The guy I am renting this house from used to be on TV. He was Wildboy on the TV show Bigfoot and Wildboy. He has all kinds of pictures of himself when he was young. He was cute! ha! I am renting from a TV celebrity!

There is an older couple who lives below me. There is a Mother-in-law apartment down there. They are real nice. Lynn, the lady who lives down there, is going through chemotherapy. She is sick most of the time. Paul, her husband, tells me how much he loves and adores his wife every time I talk to him. I want to have a relationship like that someday.

I am happy to be here. It feels good.