It is 6:21am right now. I have been awake for nearly 2.5 hours though. It seems my sleeping habits have taken a turn the last while. Right around 4am I just wake up. I stay in bed thinking that I will just go back to sleep but I am wide awake. Its weird. I might as well take advantage of the early hours and blog. :)
Have you ever had times where you are searching for something more but you don't really know what that something your searching for is? Lately I have been in a constant state of searching. My life has become too comfortable. I have become too content. Life is beautiful and fabulous for me but I still want more.
Perhaps every girl is asked the same set of awkward questions at about the same time in their life...during high-school sleepovers. I remember asking and being asked for a list of my greatest fears. My list of fears is different now but one has stayed the same. Being mediocre. I don't care what other people see when they look at me but when I look at myself I want to see someone I love and adore and someone I have fun with. I have made promises to myself to be happy, to take myself on dates and to follow my dreams. I don't want my life to get in the way of living and I certainly never want to make excuses to not be my best self; and I hope my best self is getting a little better everyday.
So right now I feel I am searching. Perhaps I have lost track of the direction I want to head. Perhaps I can take advantage of these early hours and get myself to the place I want to be!
4 comments:
You have a talent of putting your thoughts into words, I envy that. But I think I have your answer...you need to give my kids some cousins! Your search is over.
You can thank me later.
Chel you are a great person! I think we all search for a little something more every now and then.
Chelsea! I was just telling my husband about you the other day. I'm starting to like blogging more than facebook, although I know more people on facebook. Tell all your lame-o friends to let me view their blogs. :) I love yours!
hey chels,
how are you doing? i didn't know you had a blog... i love it. and i love your house! and that you went skydiving. that looked awesome. i just hope you know that you are NOT a mediocre person... from anyone's view. remember the 4 corners... that was a good weekend.
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