Wanderings

Seattle Storm. They are a WNBA team. They are currently in the WNBA Finals. The series is 2-0 for Seattle. They are playing the Atlanta Dream. The Storm haven't lost a game this year at home. Lauren Jackson, their center, was the 2010 MVP. And nobody knows about it. In fact, tonight was game 2 (in Seattle) and I, living in Seattle, couldn't even watch the game because I don't have a fancy cable package. And I find it to be ridiculous. (can you imagine the NBA or NFL or World Cup or any other FINALS of a popular sport not being on TV?!)

Wipeout is on right now. Hilarious!  My friend/old Brighton Camp Director is on there and I can't stop laughing. Teva, I'm envious. I would love to be on Wipeout- but Im convinced I would be in bed for a good week with an aching body if I ever did get on the show. 

I get family sick at least once a month. Which is better than daily-like I did about a year ago. I have an incredible family and I wonder when I will live close to them again. Sometimes I wish it was now. I wish it was now when I get family sick. When I think about other aspects of living in Utah, I hope never.

I got a new job a few months ago and couldn't be happier with my employment. I look forward to work everyday. And Im good at it. And I work with people who believe in me- which makes me believe in myself more. Isn't it funny how that works? 

Harley is still the cutest dog. I look forward to seeing him everyday and he looks forward to see me everyday too. People still stop me on the street and tell me he is the cutest dog they have ever seen. And I love it when that happens. Every time.

I worked out today. Twice. I did P90X and played basketball. I laughed a lot at work. I took Harley for a short walk. Becka sent me a really nice message that made me choke up a little. Friends came over for dinner. They left. My mind started to wander and this entry is the result.

Now it is time to relax.

Nie Nie

For the last year or so I have been a reader of the Nie Nie Dialogues and yesterday I clicked on the website and watched this amazing video. I am touched. I am inspired. I want to be more like Stephanie Nielson.

I want to know what my purpose is. I want to feel peace in what I am doing. I want to have my priorties right where (I think) they should be.

I like feeling inspired. I like wanting to be better. I love reading the stories of real life people who are changing the world with love.

I want to change the world with love.

Every time I see a nose qrinkle from a smile, I think of you. I think of you when I see the color green or talk to someone who I know won't let anything get in the way of their dreams. I think of you when I see a Sportage or a Dodge truck or a car that is that (ugly) purple color. When I see beautiful sunsets or people enjoying a meaningful, thought provoking conversation, or red rocks, I think of you. When I am having a bad day and want to be cheered up or have ideas about changing the world, I think about you. When I hear certain songs- particularly those funny heavy medal songs you used to like, I think of you. I think of you when I have good news or when people get sick or when I'm in the mood to goof around.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, even after all this time, I miss you.

It's too bad that some things change. Things like death and distance and differences. I guess its all part of life though.

I am better because of you.

Be remarkable.

Silly

I like to be silly.

When I hear music I like to dance- even when I'm alone. Even when I'm walking down the street. Even when I'm at work or with people I don't know. For date nights I like to finger paint. I like to sit on overpass bridges and watch cars go by. I like to get on my hands and knees and play with my dog pretending that I'm a dog too. I like setting my tent up on my bed and pretend I'm camping during the week. I like playing with Tol and Ad because I like playing imagining with them. I like to listen to the Glee soundtrack and sing every word while pretending to be a really good singer. Wouldn't it be fun if my life was a musical? I like to sing instead of talk. I like to cook dinner in the firepit in the backyard. I like to climb trees. I like to explore and find pretty rocks. and sticks. I like to lay on my back and see shapes in the clouds. I like to pick berries and I like to get dirty while doing it. I like to skip instead of walk.

I like to be silly.

I hope I always like to be silly.

Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine. It is the best everything- the best activity, the best past-time, the best pick-me-up- the best date, the best everything! And I have to admit, I laughed harder than I can remember last week. I was with my family in Moab- and felt like a giddy little kid again. It had been years since my family had been on a family vacation- and it was concluded that we have to do it way more often- because we become closer (which is hard to imagine), and have soo much fun!

We spent our time hiking, exploring, talking, laughing, swimming, and wishing that our time there wouldn't run out. Being there with Tolman and Addison was a real treat- watching them hike around and become excited about the littlest things was a reminder that we should all strive to be like children. Curtis and I hiked around all the big rocks, and went cliff jumping, and we talked. Curtis and I always have good talks. Nils was the work horse. He carried everyones gear- including the kids and I always become captivated by his wisdom and dedication to goodness. Jess cheered everyone up and kept our spirits up. She is quirky and funny and she doesn't get scared-even when she jumps off high cliffs. I cherish every conversation I have with Jami. She is my sound and solid voice. And she was such a trooper! She had a little precedure a few days before Moab, and she still did it all! And my parents are hilarious and truly inspiring! My mom lugged around her oxygen tank to every place we went. And my dad was at her side helping her. They laughed together and sang songs together and continued their example of love. I caught myself smiling just looking at my parents. They make me happy. The best kind of happy.

On the last day of our time in Moab, Becka and I decided to rent a jeep and explore areas in Moab. We took the top off and cruised on top of cliffs, in little streams, and up steep hills. It was insane and amazingly cool! Our first stop was Gemini Bridges and the second was Onion Creek Canyon. Let me just say that during our second stop, Onion Creek Canyon, we all laughed harder than we could remember. My mom was pounding the dash board and stomping her feet because she was laughing so hard. She couldn't breathe. It was sooo good for the soul to laugh that hard while being in 0ne of the most beautiful of all creations. It was the kind of laughter that came from the heart. True happiness. Perfection. The best kind of laughter. I was in heaven.

I was more than delighted that Becka was able to be there! She is part of the family and adds so much happiness to my life. She is an amazing person! Everything is better when she is around. I love you, Becka!

Thanks to the Richardson family for this amazing trip!

PRIDE

Taking a little break from the health kick- and writing about Pride.

This weekend is PRIDE weekend in Seattle. And I must say, I haven't looked forward to a weekend as much as I am looking forward to this weekend in a long time.

I am happy to me. I like me. If I weren't me, I would want to be my friend. I have pride in who I am. And this weekend I am going to celebrate!

I have spent some time learning about the history of Pride weekends- when and why they started. Pride started in New York City in 1969 when a group of gay people fought back againt government groups that persecuted sexual minorities. This particular event is referred to as the Stonewall Riots. It certainly is an interesting thing to be studied. But it makes me wonder- Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and people like them are heroes for fighting for equal rights- but the individuals who fought and continue to fight for a different kind of equal rights remain nameless.

I went to Pride last year- but I didn't feel pride. I looked around and wondered if anyone was looking or judging and I felt bad. I felt bad to be me.

So what has changed in one year?

I have had so many silent conversations with myself, and with God. See, the thing is, I didn't want to be gay. There was a time I rather die than be gay. And unfortunatly, parts of me did die because of the self hatred. But then it hit me, I must be okay- because God made me. And that confidence has grown and grown- and I know that I am okay. And I am thankful that God loves me.

Today I am the best version of myself simply because I love freely and fully and without fear.

Everyone should celebrate Pride weekend. Everyone should have Pride in themselves and who they are.

Thought I would share some pictures of the best things and people in my life!

Wealth

You know how people say that being rich doesn't always equal to being wealthy? I feel the same about being skinny and fit-those terms don't always equal healthy.

I'm not on a quest to lose weight or get skinny (although I wouldn't frown upon those results) but on a quest to become a better, happier, and healthier woman. And in my opinion, the first place to start is attitude.

There have been times in my life when I feel my insides are smiling. It's a feeling of gratitude and thankfulness-even for unfortunate things. It is a feeling I am in love with.

Story time.....

My amazing mom was able to come spend Mother's Day with me this year. I was soo glad to have her! We hung out mostly-and took an occasional outing to the park, or the pier, or down the street to get a pedicure. I am so glad that we were able to spend so much time together-mostly talking. She told me that when she sees people out running or working out she hopes that they have gratitude for the air and for their lungs.

My mom has to have oxygen on her all the time. Her lungs don't work. They are crystallizing. Years ago my mom was a runner, a choir participant, her kid's biggest cheer leader-among other things. Now she has a hard time walking a few blocks because she looses her breath.

During our conversations, I became grateful for the opportunity I have to breath. I fell in love with a working body. I became excited to skip and jump and ride my bike-like when I was little-just because I am capable of doing those things.

Soooo I guess the moral of the story is being grateful makes my insides smile. And I have so much to be grateful for-including my working and somewhat curvy body! And my new found gratefulness makes me excited to use it, to play with it, and to take good care of it.

Harley Boy, me, and my mom on Mother's Day 2010

Health check

I have neglected my blog for months now-there has been an occasinioal post but nothing consistent. I guess I didn't feel like there was anything significant to write about-so I felt my blog lost meaning.

BUT!!!!!!!! DRUM ROLL please.............this weekend I committed to myself to write about a new and somewhat uncomfortable topic....

After experiecing some hard things the past few months and being inspired by a few people I have decided to dedicate a portion of my blog to my journey in becoming a better, more healthy Chelsea.

I'm not unhealthy but I'm certainly not as healthy as I should/could be. Thoughout the last several months the fact that my body is what I make of it has really set in. Throughout my life I have been around a lot of sickness. My parents have both fought, and are presently fighting, life threatening diseases. Being 'sick' has been a normal thing in my life. Watching my mom go through her most current battle has made me love myself and love my body more-and has made me want to take care of it better.

But lets face it, I don't want to get healthier just for my future. This weekend I went to Shea's wedding and I wasn't as comfortable in my awesome outfit as I would've liked. I have two more weddings to go to this summer and you can count on the fact that I will look and feel better!

There are other people who have motivated me to become healthier. My dad, who is a walking miracle, is a new triathlete. My sister Jess is competing in her first marathon in October. My girlfriend has ran several marathons. My friend Lindsey made a blog about her getting healthier adventure. http://milesyboy.blogspot.com/ which she started nearly a year ago-and man oh man! She has done a GREAT job!

I am going to copy Linds and document my goals, successes, failures, and positive changes I am making in my life.

So here is to a better and healthier and happier Chelsea. Check in for updates!

please pray for my mom

Not really up for going into all the details but I feel it's important that I get this out there, for my mom's sake.A while back she was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease called mixed connective tissue disease. One of the major complications that can occur in patients with this is the loss of lung function. We've known this all along, but were hoping that if it happened, it wouldn't be for a while.Her amazing doctors ran the lung function tests on her last November and the results showed her lungs were operating on the "low end of normal." The doctors ran the same tests again this past week and the results weren't good. In fact, her pulmonologist's words were that her Interstitial Lung Disease is moving "remarkably fast."She is on a few different medications, including a very high dose of prednisone and constant oxygen.The damage to her lungs can't be reversed, but the hope is that the rapid digression will slow waaay down and that she will feel better. She has felt so sick!

We are having a fast for her this Sunday, which will actually begin Saturday night @ 8 pm. My family would be so grateful and appreciative for you to join us.We know our Heavenly Father can work miracles through our faith, and that is what we're praying for- a miracle.

I know.

I remember sitting in my Institute class my junior year of college. I was taking a class about the Book of Mormon prophets. Brother Harding said over and over throughout every class that knowledge is power.

I believe that now more than ever before.

I know that God lives.
I know that He has a plan for me.
I know that miracles occur daily.
I know Gods plan is a plan of happiness-and no matter our circumstrance, there is a way to be happy.
I know I will be with my family beyond this life.
I know prayers are answered.
And most importantly, I know God loves me!

Everything will be okay.