please pray for my mom

Not really up for going into all the details but I feel it's important that I get this out there, for my mom's sake.A while back she was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease called mixed connective tissue disease. One of the major complications that can occur in patients with this is the loss of lung function. We've known this all along, but were hoping that if it happened, it wouldn't be for a while.Her amazing doctors ran the lung function tests on her last November and the results showed her lungs were operating on the "low end of normal." The doctors ran the same tests again this past week and the results weren't good. In fact, her pulmonologist's words were that her Interstitial Lung Disease is moving "remarkably fast."She is on a few different medications, including a very high dose of prednisone and constant oxygen.The damage to her lungs can't be reversed, but the hope is that the rapid digression will slow waaay down and that she will feel better. She has felt so sick!

We are having a fast for her this Sunday, which will actually begin Saturday night @ 8 pm. My family would be so grateful and appreciative for you to join us.We know our Heavenly Father can work miracles through our faith, and that is what we're praying for- a miracle.

I know.

I remember sitting in my Institute class my junior year of college. I was taking a class about the Book of Mormon prophets. Brother Harding said over and over throughout every class that knowledge is power.

I believe that now more than ever before.

I know that God lives.
I know that He has a plan for me.
I know that miracles occur daily.
I know Gods plan is a plan of happiness-and no matter our circumstrance, there is a way to be happy.
I know I will be with my family beyond this life.
I know prayers are answered.
And most importantly, I know God loves me!

Everything will be okay.

strive to be like my dog because...

he is sweet

no matter what time it is, he is always excited to see me-or see anyone

he gives good kisses

he loves unconditionally 

he makes people smile

he is smart-he knows how to sit, roll over, shake, high five, and spin-and he is potty trained

he is the best listener! he doesn't try to fix my problems-he just listens and gives kisses

he is up for whatever whenever

he is a good travel buddy. he has already been to Portland, Hood River, and Salt Lake

he is a good all the time buddy

And I will try to be as good of a person as my dog believes I am!

Want

I want to be a better athlete. I want to run and bike and swim and I want to somewhat enjoy it while doing it.

I want to learn to cook. I want to look in cupboards and know how to throw things together to make mouth watering food. I want to invite people over and have them taste delicious food that was prepared by me-not my mom or sister or friend or girlfriend or brother Curtis...I want them to taste food that was prepared by ME.

I want to be more crafty-like my friend Candice. Or my sister, Jami. Or my aunt Mindy. Or anyone who is crafty. I want to be able to see something in my mind and in some form, create it.

I want to be a mom. I want to teach my kids that everything is beautiful. I want to take them on the roof in the middle of the night to star gaze. I want to have Christmas with my kids and take them to go see Santa Clause. I want to teach them to be nice and how to share and most importantly, that they are awesome simply because they're kids.

I want to change the world. When I was in 8th grade I told Mr Ruesch that I wanted to be in a history book someday-so little girls could read it and think, 'I want to be like her.' I asked him how I could do it-how I can get inside of a history book for doing good things-like Mother Teresa. He told me that I just needed to be my best self all the time, no matter what, and no matter who I was with.

I want to take a nap.

Rock Climbing

I went rock climbing today. It was the first time in about 6 months. I loved it. I wasn't very good-my fingers hurt-the rocks and wall felt like sand paper. My fingers felt like they were going to bleed-a part of my pinkie did. It felt good to do something I love-after we were done climbing we sat on the couch and I looked around and remembered why I fell in love with things like that-things like rock climbing.

Everyone is soo nice. They encourage each other-sometimes without saying anything. People are in every position pushing themselves to get just a little higher-or to complete the next problem.

I will certainly be visiting the climbing gym more often. Its important to do things you love-things that make you feel alive.

And its nice to come home to a cute little fur ball!!

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Time to snap my fingers and change things up a bit. My blog has been a depressing array of thoughts the last couple entries but let me assure you, my dear reader, life is beautiful.

First of all....put your hands together and let me hear a drum roll as I introduce to you a new important part of my life.... Meet Harley boy.
There have been times Becka was carrying him and people thought he was a stuffed animal. We stopped at a coffee shop the other day and I put Harley on the table and the barista came out to tell me he was the cutest pup she had ever seen. It made me smile.

He is just shy of 3 months-and have had him for close to a month-and already I have so much love for this little guy. He is a terror at times but he has learned fast-as is almost potty trained. It is amazing how much love an animal can bring in to your life in nearly no time at all.

I don't have kids-like most of my friends who have blogs-but Harley is my baby-so perhaps my blog will be covered in pictures and stories about him. Time will tell.

Beyond my news of having a puppy, my mom came to visit me! I was thrilled to have her here-giddy almost. My moms health has been less than perfect but it was good to visibly see her and talk with her and experience beautiful weather with her. I adore my mother and admire her determination and the love she has for me, makes me love and appreciate myself a little more than I do. She loves me perfectly.

this is the only picture we took while she was here-its on the fairy-on our way to pick up Harley

Work is going fabulously well. Today I got to shoot shotguns in a clay pigeon shooting contest. It was my first time. It was fun. My shoulder is sore.

The sun was out today-and yesterday-which contradicted what the weather man said. I'm glad when that happens. I am planning adventures. Becka and I want to go to Hawaii. I got a free trip there last year-and never used it. I could use some time in the beach-but who couldn't?!

I miss my family. I miss my family everyday-so much that it makes me crazy sometimes. But then I was talking to a friend of mine here and she was telling me that she doesn't get along with her family-she said she doesn't like her family. After that I was soo glad that I missed my family as much as I do. Maybe it testifies how much we love each other.

You know, I am a firm believer in what they say-its all about your attitude.

mom

I hadn't prayed for along time. I didn't feel comfortable praying. I felt like if I prayed God would say, "don't be gay." and "break up with the Becka." and then scream over and over "DON'T BE GAY!" He didn't. He said that He loved me. And He comforted me. And then in the morning He reminded me that He said that by letting me hear the birds outside my window and allowing the sun to peak through the blinds. I was humbled. I love God. He love me too.

The last few months have been LONG. I went through a few health problems, got real homesick, my home in Utah had some major water problems, my girlfriend got laid off, I had a few visits from people from home, I went and visited home-Becka came too and we turned the trip into a Western United States road trip, and in a few weeks I'm planning on getting a new puppy.

However, the most important/thought consuming/pressing thing that has happened in the last few months is the up and down health of my mom. My mom is a fighter. My mom IS A FIGHTER and, in my opinion, has been through more than any person should ever have to go through-but that isn't for me to decide-it's just what life has in store for certain people. For anyone who reads my blog, please pray for my mom. And pass the word along. Her story is what got me on my knees again. I pleaded to God that she would be okay. That she would feel okay and be able to stay positive. I let Him know that I need a mom and that my little brother Curtis needs a mom and that the WORLD needs MY mom. Other people prayed for her. We had a family fast on Sunday-people in the ward and friends joined too. I believe, I truly believe, that the only thing that will help her is the love of her Heavenly Father-perhaps extended from the people around her. Read her blog to get more information.
My mom keeps our family together and has always taught us to be kind to each other-and to everyone. There is no one in my life who I'd like to be more like. She has the kindest heart, is fast to forgive and the fastest person I know at offering herself to help someone in need.

I love you, Mom!

My best buddy

Can you believe that that guy in the picture with me is my little brother Curtis. It was hard for me to believe when I saw him on the airport. I couldn't believe it. He isn't little Curtis anymore-not even close.
Curtis came and stayed with me for a couple days and we had a great time! We kept busy busy and explored parts of Seattle. We talked a lot and more than anything else, we just enjoyed each other.
We have always been close-Curtis and me and during these couple days we just got closer. We were able to talk about things we've never talked about and experience things together that neither of us have done before-like the paddle boats on Greenlake!

Thanks for a great few days, Curtis. I love you more than I will ever be able to express. You are such a good person and you're able to impact people through your goodness. I feel lucky that you're my brother and I'm excited to see you in a few weeks! YAY!

I shouldn't post this (because my sister Jami is a hair GOD and might kill us for putting bleach from the store in our hair) but Curtis and I colored our hair. Becka helped us. I have decided that since I'm not close to Jami, I am not going to go find someone else and spend loads of money on getting my hair colored-and the stuff at the store works just fine. The Nelson's have big heads and big mouths.

Curtis loved finger painting! And was really happy that there was a bib. He painted the earth for me and it's currently hanging on the fridge!

Paddle boats at Greenlake with Ferg and Elizabeth

On top of the Space Needle.

We went to the fountain by the Seattle Center but it had turned off for the day. Bummer.

Curtis wanted to try Seattle pizza. It was the only thing on the list of things he HAD to do. On the count of 3 look as happy as you can! 1.........2............3...................Sorry to cut you out of the picture Ferg.

two places at once

No wonder I was soo tired! No wonder I took a 2.5 hour nap when I intended to lay down for just a few minutes. I was all over the place this weekend... read on...

I worked on Thursday. Then I went to Greenlake and played basketball. Then I walked around the lake. Becka helped me understand that I shouldn't walk around Greenlake by myself when its dark. She reminded me that I don't live in Utah anymore-that Washington is a little more dangerous. On Friday I went on a bike ride. It was a ride that should have taken about an hour-well, an hour each way. BUT it took us 2 hours just one way because I wasn't feeling well-AT ALL-I threw up on the trail. Yuck. We went to the Tegan and Sara that night. I saw Chelsea Householder. I hadn't seen her in a few months. I love her. Yesterday, which was the 4th, we went to a bbq and then to another and then back to the first. The 4th of July has always been one of my favorite holidays.

I also found myself on the trail to Doughnut Falls with my siblings. I was in Park City with the extended family. We sat around the table and laughed and talked about playing Court with gram. I was on top of a mountain in Switzerland watching the sunset. I watched and watched and watched and thought of the sky of everyone I knew lighting up as my sky became dark. I spent a little bit of time in my last business class. I loved my professor. He thought I was brilliant and told me I was going to be successful. I was on Darth, my first scooter, doing up Big Cottonwood Canyon and then I was on Big Red going up Logan Canyon to go climbing. I was at Tol's preschool graduation-which was a few weeks earlier but luckily when you go to places in your mind, it doesn't really matter when they really happen-you can go wherever you want whenever you want.

All I'm sayin is that I hear people say, "I wish I could be in two places at once." You can. I was all over the place this weekend. All over the entire world. And far in my future and back in my past.

Supa and Koda

I have spent a lot of time thinking and remembering today.

I remember going to Body World at the library in Salt Lake a couple months ago. While I was there I learned that a person can die from a broken heart. I don't like that. I rather die from old age, or from being shot, or burnt than die from a broken heart. My heart has been broken before-it was the worst pain I have ever felt.

Today I remembered a particular day I went cross country skiing with Supa and Koda-they were my pups...I wish I had pictures of them to post. I don't. I don't have a single picture because my computer broke...and they were all erased. I thought about how they were like babies...how people would stop me wherever I was to tell me how cute they were. They were perfect dogs. I miss them.

I remembered the day I bought my house. I was so excited. I remember building the fence and finishing the hardwood floors and painting and learning a little about electrical stuff. I am trying to sell my house right now.

I remembered how excited I was to move to Washington-and then when I got in the truck to actually drive here I was devastated with my decision. I realized I was completely impulsive-that I was leaving everything and everyone that meant something to be to blaze a new trail-a trail that I am now happy as ever to be on.

I remembered going to a Jazz game with my dad-back in the day when they played in the Salt Palace. I sat on his lap and he spoke very intently about the game. I could feel his passion for it. He passed the passion to me.

I remembered my friend Krista. She was my friend and teammate in highschool. She committed suicide her senior year. She was an all-star. After she died I knew that people who appear to be happy on the outside might be dying on the inside. Krista appeared to be the happiest of happy!

I remembered going to Disney Land with my family. Tolman wanted to keep going on Its a Small World-or maybe he just wanted us to sing it over and over. I remember his face as we were on the ride. He was in heaven.

I remembered what it was like when life was a little simpler-the days when I could roll out of bed and change my shirt if I wanted and head to school. I'd walk up and down the halls saying hi to as many people that I passed and go to class only if I wanted. I would go to basketball practice and daydream about being great, I would joke with teammates about everything-that was Chelsea- the practical joker- and talk about what I wanted to eat for dinner.

I remembered when I was more confident. More confident and more sure of, well, everything.