My best buddy

Can you believe that that guy in the picture with me is my little brother Curtis. It was hard for me to believe when I saw him on the airport. I couldn't believe it. He isn't little Curtis anymore-not even close.
Curtis came and stayed with me for a couple days and we had a great time! We kept busy busy and explored parts of Seattle. We talked a lot and more than anything else, we just enjoyed each other.
We have always been close-Curtis and me and during these couple days we just got closer. We were able to talk about things we've never talked about and experience things together that neither of us have done before-like the paddle boats on Greenlake!

Thanks for a great few days, Curtis. I love you more than I will ever be able to express. You are such a good person and you're able to impact people through your goodness. I feel lucky that you're my brother and I'm excited to see you in a few weeks! YAY!

I shouldn't post this (because my sister Jami is a hair GOD and might kill us for putting bleach from the store in our hair) but Curtis and I colored our hair. Becka helped us. I have decided that since I'm not close to Jami, I am not going to go find someone else and spend loads of money on getting my hair colored-and the stuff at the store works just fine. The Nelson's have big heads and big mouths.

Curtis loved finger painting! And was really happy that there was a bib. He painted the earth for me and it's currently hanging on the fridge!

Paddle boats at Greenlake with Ferg and Elizabeth

On top of the Space Needle.

We went to the fountain by the Seattle Center but it had turned off for the day. Bummer.

Curtis wanted to try Seattle pizza. It was the only thing on the list of things he HAD to do. On the count of 3 look as happy as you can! 1.........2............3...................Sorry to cut you out of the picture Ferg.

two places at once

No wonder I was soo tired! No wonder I took a 2.5 hour nap when I intended to lay down for just a few minutes. I was all over the place this weekend... read on...

I worked on Thursday. Then I went to Greenlake and played basketball. Then I walked around the lake. Becka helped me understand that I shouldn't walk around Greenlake by myself when its dark. She reminded me that I don't live in Utah anymore-that Washington is a little more dangerous. On Friday I went on a bike ride. It was a ride that should have taken about an hour-well, an hour each way. BUT it took us 2 hours just one way because I wasn't feeling well-AT ALL-I threw up on the trail. Yuck. We went to the Tegan and Sara that night. I saw Chelsea Householder. I hadn't seen her in a few months. I love her. Yesterday, which was the 4th, we went to a bbq and then to another and then back to the first. The 4th of July has always been one of my favorite holidays.

I also found myself on the trail to Doughnut Falls with my siblings. I was in Park City with the extended family. We sat around the table and laughed and talked about playing Court with gram. I was on top of a mountain in Switzerland watching the sunset. I watched and watched and watched and thought of the sky of everyone I knew lighting up as my sky became dark. I spent a little bit of time in my last business class. I loved my professor. He thought I was brilliant and told me I was going to be successful. I was on Darth, my first scooter, doing up Big Cottonwood Canyon and then I was on Big Red going up Logan Canyon to go climbing. I was at Tol's preschool graduation-which was a few weeks earlier but luckily when you go to places in your mind, it doesn't really matter when they really happen-you can go wherever you want whenever you want.

All I'm sayin is that I hear people say, "I wish I could be in two places at once." You can. I was all over the place this weekend. All over the entire world. And far in my future and back in my past.

Supa and Koda

I have spent a lot of time thinking and remembering today.

I remember going to Body World at the library in Salt Lake a couple months ago. While I was there I learned that a person can die from a broken heart. I don't like that. I rather die from old age, or from being shot, or burnt than die from a broken heart. My heart has been broken before-it was the worst pain I have ever felt.

Today I remembered a particular day I went cross country skiing with Supa and Koda-they were my pups...I wish I had pictures of them to post. I don't. I don't have a single picture because my computer broke...and they were all erased. I thought about how they were like babies...how people would stop me wherever I was to tell me how cute they were. They were perfect dogs. I miss them.

I remembered the day I bought my house. I was so excited. I remember building the fence and finishing the hardwood floors and painting and learning a little about electrical stuff. I am trying to sell my house right now.

I remembered how excited I was to move to Washington-and then when I got in the truck to actually drive here I was devastated with my decision. I realized I was completely impulsive-that I was leaving everything and everyone that meant something to be to blaze a new trail-a trail that I am now happy as ever to be on.

I remembered going to a Jazz game with my dad-back in the day when they played in the Salt Palace. I sat on his lap and he spoke very intently about the game. I could feel his passion for it. He passed the passion to me.

I remembered my friend Krista. She was my friend and teammate in highschool. She committed suicide her senior year. She was an all-star. After she died I knew that people who appear to be happy on the outside might be dying on the inside. Krista appeared to be the happiest of happy!

I remembered going to Disney Land with my family. Tolman wanted to keep going on Its a Small World-or maybe he just wanted us to sing it over and over. I remember his face as we were on the ride. He was in heaven.

I remembered what it was like when life was a little simpler-the days when I could roll out of bed and change my shirt if I wanted and head to school. I'd walk up and down the halls saying hi to as many people that I passed and go to class only if I wanted. I would go to basketball practice and daydream about being great, I would joke with teammates about everything-that was Chelsea- the practical joker- and talk about what I wanted to eat for dinner.

I remembered when I was more confident. More confident and more sure of, well, everything.

After reading this, I had to call my dad and tell him that I love him.

Moving

Kerry is going to Korea for the summer. She leaves tomorrow. After the summer she is moving to Chicago for grad school.
Ariel and Dave just moved to Iowa for his dental residency. They visited me a few days ago because they are trying to decide where they are going to go once that is over. Washington is on their list of places they are considering...
Jami and Dave are moving to Minnesota in about a year. They will be there for a couple years.
My brother Nils is in Arizona for the summer.
I have reconnected with old friends on facebook and in this crazy blogging world who are spread out across the globe.
My family is in Utah. Utah and New York and Rhode Island and California. But most are in Utah.

And I am in Washington. I am in Bothell, Washington alone in my house at 12:31am on a Monday night. I keep bouncing around the web looking at different maps and pointing out to myself all the places I know people. Looking at maps and globes make me feel small. I like feeling small. I like feeling like a big deal sometimes too but feeling small is more accurate to reality. I like it. Feeling small makes me feel motivated to create. Create something for myself-or out of myself...haven't really figured it out yet.

All I know is that people, people I know, are moving to create something different for themselves. I want to jump on that bandwagon! Luckily for me though (and the only reason I say luckily is I HATE moving and have had to do it A LOT in the past year) I just have to move around in my mind a little, tweak a few of my habits and beliefs.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a significant day for me. June 17th is a day that will forever and ever symbolize a new beginning for me. It was a day that one of the most important people in my life passed on and four years after that another one of the most important people to me was born.

June 17th, 2000: My best friend Ashley Richardson was taken from us as a result of a car accident.
It was a beautiful day without a cloud in the sky...Ash called me asking if I wanted to go spend time at her sisters house-she was house-sitting there because Emily was out of town. In most circumstances I would have been there is a second-I always had soo much fun with Ashley and took advantage of every opportunity to hang out with her. But for some reason, a reason that I really can't explain, I decided that I wanted to go hiking by myself-something I didn't usually do on beautiful summer days.
On the way home from the mountain there was some traffic on the freeway. I passed an accident. I saw a jeep that was turned on its side. I later found out I drove by Ashley's accident. She was in that jeep.

I stopped at a friends house on my way home from the mountain. Then I went home. My dad met me on the porch. He had tears in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong never expecting what did come out of his mouth to come out of his mouth. He told me Ashley was in a car accident and that she didn't make it. I asked him, "Ashley who?" He told me Ashley Richardson. I didn't believe him. I talked to her earlier that day. But he assured me it was her. I was devastated. I didn't realize how much she meant to me until she was gone and I didn't realize how much she impacted my life until she died. She still impacts me. I will forever be grateful for the influence she has had on my life. I am better because of her. I forgive quicker because of her. I listen better because of her. I am generally slow to get angry and quick to give praise all because of her encouragement. I appreciate my family more because of her. I love myself more because of her. I recognize greatness in simplicity because of her. I have a better relationship with God because of her.

Ashley was most certainly the most loving and giving friend I had ever had. She introduced to me what true friendship was and introduced what a real and personal relationship with God looked like. I love her forever and ever!

June 17th, 2004: I was in Alaska. A few months before June 17th, Court found a lodge online that would hire both of us for the summer-Riversong Lodge-so we packed up our bags and went to Alaska. I went to breakfast with Jami the morning I was going to leave...Jami took me to Village Inn and gave me an empty photo album...an album that I was supposed to fill up with the pictures she was going to send me of my unborn nephew.

I can't remember what I was doing on June 17th when I got the call that informed me that Jami had her baby. Tolman James Lamborn was born-I had a nephew!!

Like I keep saying, I was in Alaska-I hadn't even seen or held the little guy but I loved him immediately. I don't know how old he was when I actually got to meet him-I think he was a couple weeks old but what I do know is I have never fallen in love so quickly. And the love that I felt for him during the converation that I learned of his birth has only intensified 10 fold.

Tolman turned 5 yesterday. I can hardly believe it. Its hard for me to conceptualize how much love is packed into his little body. Love and joy and excitement and perfection. I adore him and know that we will be best buddies forever and ever.

Highs and Lows

Soooooooo much to write about.

First, today I feel better. The last few days, maybe last few weeks I was feeling a little down-not like normal, happy go-lucky, always look on the bright side of things Chelsea.

There was a moment I even considered moving back to Utah. When that thought entered, I had to seriously take a look at where these thoughts/feelings were coming from to determine how seriously I should consider these ideas that would pop into my mind.

I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my house in Logan and my puppies that I had to give away. I miss the Utah bubble. I miss being around people who understand the Mormon religion-around people who I don't have to defend or debate the religion with. I miss my siblings. I realize I already said that I miss my family but I really miss my family.

But I am happy to say that my thought of moving home was merely a thought-that when I took time with Chelsea for Chelsea I determined where that idea came from. My health hasn't been great, my job is really changing, and although I have good friends here, I haven't had the time and experience with them that really creates lifelong lasting relationships. Sooo...all of this points to one thing...I am searching for something consistent in my life because there really isn't anything consistent right now...and the thing that is always and will always be consistent is my family and the love we have for each other.

Now lets update my readers on the happenings in Washington.

The weather is great! Around 80 degrees right now-and people complain that it's too hot. I laugh as I think about my days on the ropes course. 100-107 degrees all summer. And then I think of my brother in Arizona. HOT HOT HOT! I have been experiencing some of Washington's recreation lately. Over Memorial Day weekend I went camping. It was great. There was a group of about 25 girls who went. We went to Eastern Washington-it reminded me of Utah. Becka and I and a friend named Erica went kayaking last week. We went to Lake Union...I think (so many bodies of water-I get mixed up). We had a great view of the city-and looking at the city made my mind go crazy. Its interesting that somebody decided to build a city in a location that is literally surrounded by water. But whatever-it seems to work.

I am feeling a little more confident getting around but I still struggle. Finding an address without my GPS is nearly impossible. I don't know how people do it. I used to pride myself in my sense of direction and ability to get places but man oh man...not anymore. I feel lost 80% of the time.

Now to a low point in the last few weeks.
This is Shirley. She was involved in a hate crime a couple weeks ago. She was at a club in Seattle with some friends and when she went outside she was beaten by a big burly guy who kept telling her she should die because of her sexual orientation-while his friends circled up around them-not allowing anyone to help her.I had only met Shirley a few times before this happened and was introduced to the story from a mutual friend. When I heard about it, I wished there was something I could do to help. I was just contacted a few hours ago asking if I could write out my story and if I have any contacts to share Shirley's story with. Yes, yes and yes. I was told that the more people who know what happened, the better. I agree.

I have written about this before but let me touch on the topic again...

Why is it important that people live the same way we do. Why is it important that we all have the same ideas and beliefs. Why is it important that we love only the people who are like us?

I used to be a camp counselor. On Monday nights I would take my campers to Centry Rock. Before we got to the rock though I would tell them to go find something in nature that they thought was pretty. A rock, a leaf, a stick-anything they could carry. Then we would sit on the rock and watch the sunset. We would talk about how pretty it was. How perfect that moment on the rock with the sun setting and the sky turning every color of the rainbow was. Then we would discuss how boring it would be if every sunset, every tree, every rock, every leaf were the same.... and then the discussion would move to people-how boring the world would be if we were all the same. But sometimes we hate what is different. And I don't understand.

Yes, I can understand that people think that being gay is gross and I can understand that people might think its weird. But I cannot understand how someone could feel soo strongly about it-strong enough to want to kill-and yes...killing Shirley was the intention.

Most of my friends in Washington are gay. They are normal. They are just like me. Most battled with it for along time-wishing they weren't but realizing they couldn't fight who they were born to be. They are people who have dreams, who want families, who get soo sad with the fact they in society, they aren't normal-that they don't have the same rights as the person across the street because of the person they love. We are upstanding citizens-with good jobs and who like volunteering in the community. We love to laugh and have fun and we like doing silly things. When we get sad or happy we like to talk to our parents or siblings or best friends.

Maybe some of us have unusual haircuts and maybe some of us dress a little different. But once you look into our hearts and our minds, we really aren't that different. No, not different at all.

Photo strip of the last few weeks...

I have kinda been absent from the blogging world the last while. But I am back and a lot has happened. Let's first update with a few pictures..

This is Becka and I with Antonia in the background. 

This is Ferg and I on one of our outings.

Becka and I went on a bike ride/long boarding adventure

Me and 4th cousin Melanie at a bbq

Brunch at Ivars

Explanations will come later....

I woke up missing my family this morning.

I miss how my dad hugs me-sometimes he does it for no apparent reason. I also miss playing ball with him.
I miss how my mom makes me laugh because of her randomness.
I miss how Jami always has the best advice. (of course I can call her for that, but its different face-to-face)
I miss hearing Jessica's opinion about EVERYTHING.
I miss how Nils tells me that he is praying for me. (again, he does that over the phone, but different).
I miss how Curtis always go out and do fun things. Last time I was home, I taught him how to drive.
I miss how Dave tells me about school.
I miss how Tolman and Addi, but particularly Tolman, light up every time they see me.
I miss seeing my grandparents at dinner on Sundays.

I miss being in my parents home-I always feel good there. I miss hearing my mom play the piano. I miss hearing Curtis read poetry. I miss playing Settlers with Jess...with the rest of the fam too but mostly Jess. I miss going to the park with the kiddos.

I just miss being with the most important people in my life. Thats all.

(But please, particularly mom, don't let this post confuse you. I am doing really well.)

What a week!

I haven't visited my blog in awhile and have felt the urge...

First off, Happy Mother's Day to my mom!! I love you, mom! And Happy Mother's Day to my sister Jami and Grandma Carol-and all the other mothers out there-but particularly to those 3.

This morning I woke up and got lost in my thoughts about my body and how it works and operates. It was driving me crazy. Questions like, how is it that humans last longer than most modern machines (like cars...they are ancient when they are 20 years old) without a battery and/or fuel. Hello! Doesn't make any sense. We can move and think and feel and taste and geee...all kinds of things....and I am not plugged to the wall and I don't have an on and off switch. Sure, I have to sleep for a few hours a day to re-energize myself but the concept of sleep as a recharger is another thing that just makes my head spin. And then to think that I, Chelsea Nelson, was created inside another human. Weird. Humans are amazing.

I haven't introduced Adriane Ferguson to my my blog yet.... Drum Roll Please!!!
Everyone! This is Fergie Ferg Ferg...perhaps the best friend I have had in my entire existence. We met months ago and connected almost immediately. She is a rock-my rock and I am sometimes amazed how she understands me. She has a deep relationship with God and that radiates by the way she lives her life. I could write and write and write in detail about the things Ferg has brought to my life. I won't. I will just post an occasional picture

The Seattle weather is wearing on me more now than it has since I've been here. I talked to Nils yesterday and he told me it is about 100 degrees everyday where he is. That sounds a little too hot but I sure wouldn't mind seeing the sun everyday. This was a few days ago at a Mariners baseball game and it was FREEZING! I'm normally pretty tough about cold weather-but I was so annoyed that it was that cold.

So, I have written briefly about a crush. Yes, yes, Chelsea has started to date someone. Becka is her name and she is fabulous! Yesterday we spent the evening finger painting.Becka riding the cruiser-I was on the longboard! :)

This is me and Becka at din din with Mel and Pam

Sometimes in my life I don't really think about why I feel certain things. I just feel without needing any kind of reason BUT I have been more aware of WHY certain feelings have surfaced. One of the most overwhelming feelings I have had the past month or so is gratefulness. And the reason?! I have phenomenal people around me-particularly my family. I was talking to my mom a few weeks ago and I asked if she was comfortable hearing about Becka...her response was, "Of course!" and then explained that she just wants me to be happy. I am so thankful that I finally feel comfortable with myself!!

I still own my home in Utah. This week I learned that my main waterline broke. Major bummer. My grandma got diagnosed with cancer this week-but is having an operation on Wednesday and they are feeling confident that the cancer hasn't spread-so hopefully everything will be fine after the operation. I tore the bumper off my car-not this last week-the week before-but still. I had a lifetime friend decide we couldn't be friends anymore. That was a bummer. My tenant who lived in the basement of my house moved out without giving me any notice this last week. And my house is dirty. I did something weird to my hip. It hurts...and sometimes I'm forced to limp. I felt homesick on Sunday. I just wanted to give my mom a hug and remind her that she is my hero. I wanted to watch Curtis play basketball too. I learned that Jamie changed her phone number. I felt really lazy-for like the last MONTH-and on Wednesday had a literal wake up call which forced me to snap out of it. What else, what else?? A lot, probably.

Despite that list, I feel calm and happy. Which proves that liking yourself and feeling confident in who you are is the most important of all things!