Writing

I find comfort in writing. Spilling my thoughts on paper (or a computer screen) just feels good. It has always been a goal of mine to write a book. I sit and write a few pages here and there and one day it will be complete. One day I will have something publiched. Maybe people will read it but I don't really care if people read it-I won't something published for me and maybe for my kids.

I was talking to a friend the other day and I have been thinking about the conversation since. We were in the car on our way to dinner when began explaining how there have been times in my life where I have felt that I am living just to exsist-that everyday seemed to be the same and that I wasn't really working toward anything. I was explaining that I didn't like living that way. She told me that she thought at least 80% of the human population lived that way-just to exsist. Is that true? And if it is true, is that okay? Are people happy iliving that way?

A night alone

Its a Friday night and I am lounging in the house tonight. I feel great about it.

Sometimes the most theraputic thing are moments alone with nothing and nobody except yourself. Try it sometime and let me know how it goes...

A few years ago I backpacked through Europe. I was gone for nearly 2.5 months. I went by myself. A few friends told me that they wanted to go with me but everyone bailed out. I couldn't bail out-I had always wanted to go. I remember being dropped off at the airport-my parents dropped me off and a friend came too. My mom stayed in the car because she wasn't feeling well so my dad and friend walked me in and bid me farewell. I was soo excited to go on this little journey.

It was kind of a big deal for me. I was only 19 and spending a little more than 2 months in an unknown place was more than exciting.

this is me in the Swiss Alps

When I got to Europe after that long flight I started to wander. I walked up and down all the streets wondering where I was going and what I was doing. I will shamefully admit that within the first few hours of being there I wondered what I had gotten myself into.

I had spent a few semesters at college before I went to Europe-but I lived with some of my best friends and wasn't too far from my family- so I never knew the feeling of being lonely.

So I was in Europe for only a couple days when I experienced the worst feeling I have ever felt. I felt all alone. It was the most bizarre feeling I had ever had because there were people all around me but I still felt so lonely. I have felt that feeling since then but that was the first time I remember feeling it.

In Amsterdam-just minutes away from Anne Franks House

(I swear, I am getting to the point)
I went to Europe with my a backpack. It had clothes for 2.5 months, a change of shoes, a book, my camera and my journal. Thats it. So when I was bored I wrote in my journal and searched for people to talk to. I really learned to jump out of my comfort zone and talk to people-all people.

Going back to the point of feeling lonely...I was in a place where I was experiencing amazing things! One of the reasons I wanted to go to Europe was to hike the Swiss Alps. One particular day I woke up before the sun would rise and climbed to a peak and would sit in awe as I watched the sun come up off the horizon. I imagined my family going to sleep-imagined their sky getting dark as mine became light and I didn't have anyone to share it with. Amazing and depressing all at the same time.

Venice Italy has got to be one of my favorite places!

I had a life changing experience one morning. I was getting ready in a hostel in Germany. I was doing my normal morning routine but became stuck in my tracks while I was in front of the mirror brushing my hair. I had an amazing experience-one that I wish everyone could have.

I sat there looking at myself and I liked what I saw. I'm not talking about how I looked or anything like that. I liked who I saw in the mirror. I felt like I had become my own best friend. Because of my situation, I had to spend so much time with only myself. Even if I got sick of myself I couldn't hide in a conversation with a friend (and I got tired reading the same book over and over again and there is only soo much you can write in your journal). I learned that I am the only person that I have to be 100% myself with...and when I was 100% me, I liked it. I liked me. I loved me. I liked how I thought, I liked the kind of eyes I saw the world out of, I liked the way I saw people, I liked soo much about who I was. I even realized that I liked some of my imperfections-I learned to see perfection in my imperfections.

Now, for those of you reading my blog I hope that you don't label me as cocky or self obsessed or anything like that. (I am having a hard time putting my thoughts into words so bare with me.)

Please tell me (honestly) what would the world be like if we all valued ourselves as much as we valued our family members or perhaps our best friends? I believe it would be so much happier. Or what if we believed in ourselves a little more? Just imagine believing in yourself as much as your momma and papa did/does... or perhaps believing in yourself as much as you did when you were in grade school.

I felt those things about myself when I as 19 in an unknown place. I remember not only hearing that the sky was the limit but I believed it with every part of me. There wasn't a thing that could stop me from doing anything. For some reason I have fallen away from that a little bit BUT (time to celebrate) I'm feeling it again.

Been Awhile

I haven't been on this thing for awhile-not because there isn't anything to write about. Perhaps there is too much to write about. So many things have been going on and my mind is going crazy trying to remember things that people may want to read about...

I have been in Washington for just over a month. It's been a good month. It has been a little bit hard but overall, things are fantastic! The only constant thing in life is it is constantly changing and this move might be the most drastic change I have faced yet. Not only is the weather different (I don't think it has been more than 85 degrees since I've been here compared to mid 90's-100's in Utah) but the people, the scenery, the roads (I appreciate the way Utah addresses the roads)- most things are different. It is weird not having my family close by. When I miss them I can't get in my car and drive to them. Thank goodness for cell phones.

This change has been fantastic for me. Coming to a place where nobody knows me has been liberating. Starting new-new job, new friends, new everything...

Now to update on some of the specifics. I am employed as a PR Specialist at American Income Life. It's a great job with soo many opportunities. I applied for loads of jobs and had quite a few interviews before I got here and this one seems to be the best fit. I haven't done too many outdoor activities yet-I certainly go on a lot of bike rides and have been on just a couple hikes. There is a rock climbing gym close to my house so I will certainly be taking advantage of that. I have met a lot of great people-and have already made some great friends. The world is full of great people.

Just some thoughts

It is kinda nice being alone in a new place with new people and things to experience. I am left with nothing but my own thoughts a lot of times. And even though I am in Washington I have realized that (besides my family being further away) things aren't that different afterall.

I am surrounded my people who are just trying to do their best. The other day I was outside in the backyard and the backyard that is connected to this one has a tramp in it. Lots of kids were jumping on the tramp and throwing balls at each other and a few of the balls landed in this backyard and I threw them back. The dad of some of the kids starting talking to Erika and I...nothing different than home. People just doing their best and trying to survive. The kids were laughing and sreaming and their daddy was trying to make sure everyone was staying safe. Not much different than being at my house...

Blazing new trails...

Tolman, my nephew is certainly one of the things I will miss most about home. I love this little boy the way I imagine loving my own little ones.
Tolman taped me to the chair and said, "Now you can't move to Washington. You have to stay here." Soo sweet and soo sad. I keep looking around and wonder if this is really my life...

A few days ago I packed up everything I own into a Budget rental truck (I would suggest a Penske for anyone who is planning to make a long drive. There were times we would max out speed at 45 mph and watch Penske trucks fly by...) and drove from Logan, UT to Lake Stevens, WA on Wednesday. I came without a job, a set place to live, a limited social network, no idea where anything is and I absolutely love it!

I have wanted to move for quite sometime but kept waiting for the perfect time, perfect job, perfect opportunity...I learned there is no perfect time for anything-or perhaps NOW is the perfect time for everything.

It certainly hasn't hit me that this isn't a mere vacation; That I won't be going home in a few days, that I can't hop in the car and drive to see my family when I want to, that this forgein place really is my new home. That is all just a little crazy but so, so exciting.

Last Sunday my mom had a little party for me. My family was there along with some of my friends. When the night was coming to an end and I had to say goodbye to some of my siblings, I was a complete wreck. I don't know if there is a family as close as the Nelson clan-I adore my family, particilarly my siblings.

Danny has always been my best buddy-but more over the past few years than ever before. He will always be one of my favorite people! He is such a good friend and always makes me laugh. His wife Emi is just as wonderful! This is Erika, Danny, Emi and me!

Taryn and Brittany came by...SOOO good to see both of them. Hadn't seen either of them in awhile but will always been great friends of mine. It's soo great to have friends who you can see every now and again but it seems like nothing changes. Love you girls!

Ang, Steve and little Owen came. This was my first time meeting Owen. I had plans to kipnap him but those thoughts left when I saw how Ang looked at her little guy. So much love... Some day I will have my own!Erika flew down to Utah to drive back with me. I decided to show her the my favorite place in Utah while she was here. This is us above Silver Lake.I don't think I would have been able to move without Patrick. First of all, he took over my job, a job that I absolutely adore AND he came and packed up my truck. Thanks Patrick!

My first night in Washington...Sarah and I went long boarding on the same long board. It was pretty stellar.

The things I love about this place...

Right now I am happy and I am sad. Happy because a new adventure is right around the corner. Sad because I am leaving my home and creating another. By the end of the month I will be a Washington resident...

I can't really explain the excitement. I feel that change is the most liberating thing for me. It reminds me that I'm human. That I exsist in a world full of other humans who are doing exactly what I am doing-surviving and loving it.

I'm not too sure if I will ever find a place that I adore like Logan. I can ride my bike a few minutes and be in the middle of a mountain. Its heaven to me. It isn't only Logan though-Utah is amazing! Sure, it is the land of the Mormons (seems to be the first thing that outsiders mention when I tell them where I'm from) but it is soo much more. I have traveled throughout a lot of the US and parts of South America and Europe. I don't think I have ever been to a place that I love (just based on geographical wonders) as much as Utah.

I'm confident that this will always be my home. It will always be a place that makes me giddy when I think about it...

Father's Day and Nils!

Perhaps this is a little out of order but better late, and a little out of order, then never.

To explain a little about my family I would like to refer you to my sisters blog http://www.thelambfam01.blogspot.com/. I feel I have worlds funnest and perhaps funniest family!

My dad is a great dad! So glad he's my dad. He has been such a big support and perhaps my biggest fan my entire life. I love you dad!

Now to Nils. I am so happy he's home. Can't believe it had been 2 years since I saw him. His homecoming was fabulous and it was so fun to hear some of his experiences AND see so many people.

I have always adored my little brother. I am so glad he is home.

One of the people I got to see was my best buddy Danny. Haven't seen his since he got married and he and Emi came to visit. Love you guys!

Tribute

Today is a special day for me for so many reasons. Reasons that I can't really explain. I won't try and explain them. I don't know the words to being explaining.

Sometimes people come into my life-even if its just for a few moments-and change the way view something-or perhaps give me a deeper (or newly formed) appreciation for something. For example, the other day I was walking into a gas station. There was an older woman who was walking near me. I was kind of in a hurry and was on my cell phone and walked into the store without keeping the door held open for her. It wasn't until a young child-couldn't have been above the age of 8 ran from where his parents car was parked to the door to open it! The older woman was in tears from the kindness of this young child. He reminded me that small things do matter...

Anyway, today is significant. Today is the anniversary of the death of my best friend Ashley Richardson. She died 8 years ago. Eight years is a long time but I still think about her most every day.

She was the prime example that small things matter. I could write novels about the small things she did that made a difference in my life; not to mention the lives of other friends, family and strangers. Her smile was contagious and her love and kindness didn't have boundries. Ashley certainly was, and still is, my hero!

I still talk about Ash on almost a daily basis. I use some of her stories at work. I have tried to treat people the way she encouraged me to everyday. She loved people. She loved life.

Sometimes I still dream about Ashley. Those are the hardest dreams to wake up from. I don't know if I've ever known anyone that has understood me more than her. I don't know if there has ever been anyone who has seen as much goodness in me than her. She reminds me in those dreams.

Eight years ago could easily be one of the hardest days in my life thus far. But it was also a beginning. Perhaps that sounds morbid and weird but there is no other way to say it.

Here's to all the pizza and ice cream! And to the picnic in the middle of the lunch room! And of course the Fat Camp on the way to St. George!! I love you Ash!
Love, Chelsea Marie! :)

Family is together!

What a day!

Today Nils returned from his LDS mission. He has been gone for two years. My family woke up early (some of us didn't sleep) and went to the airport around 10:30am. We went to the place we last saw him.

When we got inside of the airport I went and stood by my dad. My dad looked contemplative so I asked him what kinds of thoughts he was having. He looked at the escalator and said, "the last time I saw Nilso was on that escalator. I can't believe that was two years ago."

Since then I have been in and out of thoughts about time and how quickly it passes. Two years ago my family was saying goodbye to my brother thinking it would be forever until we saw him again. That day is already here. That day is almost gone. Crazy. Time goes so quickly.

I have always thought that the most precious thing in my life was my family. Of course they are toward the top of the list but the most precious thing is time.

My brother came home a different person. In the last two years he has changed parts of his life and has a more firm dedication to doing good. I can see it. I can feel it. I am trying to think back to when he left. I wonder what kinds of changes have occured within me. I wonder if he can see it. We have had the same amount of time since we last saw each other...it just makes me wonder...

Time. It is a crazy thing to think about. I will use my time to do good things.

I got tagged...

I got tagged. I don't really know what it means but my sister insists that I play along...here it goes.
ABC's "getting to know you" TAG. Complete the ABC's of you. Then, each player tags 3 people and posts their names, goes to their blogs and leaves a comment letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.Thanks Monica, here we go:

A- Attached or single: I am attached. Attached to family and friends and my arms and legs are attached-but not attached to a boy-except for my dad, brothers and nephew
B- Best Friend: Curtis is in the room right now and is telling me that we are best friends
C-Cake or Pie: Pie. Apple pie
D-Day: Don't have a favorite-like all my days when fun things are planned!
E- Essential Item: Lotion
F- Favorite Color: Anything BRIGHT
G-Gummy Bears or Worms: Bears
H-Home town: The one and only WJ baby!!
I- Indulgences: I have a slight obsession with hair removal
J- January or July?: Umm. I like both. I am boring.
K-Kids: Can't wait to have them
L-Life is incomplete without: My family!
M- Marriage Date: Not married
N- Number of Siblings: 2 sis' & 2 bros
O- Oranges or Apples: Oranges
P- Phobias or Fears: Not following my dreams...
Q- Quote: If you don't like it, change it. If you can't change it change the way you feel about it.
R- Reason To Smile: I have a beautiful life
S- Season: Fall.
T- Tag Three: Umm... Angie, Ariel and Annie
U- Unknown fact about me: II got stabbed by a deer horn once
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: Huh?
W- Worst Habit: Driving without a seat belt
X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Neither
Y-Your favorite food: There isn't anything like a good peach
Z- Zodiac Sign: This may surprise you but I don't know. My birthday is March 14th.