Being human

I feel good. And relieved. And excited. My life is so bright and, believe it or not, things are getting brighter.

Forgiving myself is hard. Letting go of mistakes and guilt and shame is hard. Forgiving other people, for me, is simple.

But I'm learning. And it feels so good.

Part of being human is making mistakes. And sometimes our mistakes hurt the people we care about. Sometimes they hurt those people a lot. Sometimes our mistakes end relationships. Sometimes our mistakes make it hard for us to recognize who we are looking at in the mirror.

I have made some of those mistakes - the kind that hurt other people and the kind that hurt the relationship I have with myself.

But I am a human.

Learning is also being human. And I am learning. I am learning a lot.

I am learning that happiness/sadness/guilt/shame comes within my own self and that the things in my life are simply an expression of that happiness/sadness/guilt/shame. Nobody or nothing can make me feel anything. I can't make anyone else feel anything either. I can only be a expression. Whatever anyone else has or feels has nothing to do with me considering or despite my mistakes.

The only thing life has given me is life itself. I can make it what I want. It's hard to make it what I want when I'm buried by guilt and shame. So, because of that, I am so thankful that I am learning to let go and forgive myself for mistakes I have made. Life is a beautiful thing. People are the most beautiful of all.

Doing my part

Washington is the most beautiful place

Dirty 30

Tripped is booked. Im going to Mexico for my 30th bday with a handful of my favorite peeps.

And... I swear, I'll be in the best shape up to this point of my life when the plane lands. I got 6 months!

Bamalamarama!

Ben

Meet my nephew. Benjamin Nelson Lamborn. He decided to come more than a month early - he came the in the morning on Septermber 13th. I haven't met the little dude yet but I already have so much love for him. Mama and babe are doing fine - he is finally home with his family - and his siblings are loving him to pieces. I am so thankful for my family and the little ones that bring so much love! 

I can't wait to hold little Benny and smother him with hugs and kisses. 

Thanks Jami!

There have been times in my life I have to pinch myself to determine if I am awake or dreaming. Life is wonderful.

I am currently in Vegas for a work convention. There are close to 3000 people here. It's a union conference. I'm inspired.

Last night may have been one of the most satisfying and gratifying nights of my life. Ill be able to write about specifics in the near future - specifics about my night and about the project I am working on - bit until then let me say that nothing makes me happier then being with like minded people who are determined to make the world a better place. There is so much good around us if we take the time to open our eyes.

Morning

Mornings have become my favorite part of the day. It has become normal for me to watch the city come alive and there is something soothing and reassuring about it.

I like waking up to the birds. I like morning dew. I like the quietness. I like the smell. I like cuddling with Harleyboy.

Naps

With this guy are my favorite

Spread thin

What a day!

It had unexpecting circumstance after another. My heart strings were pulled and my mind and imagination were stretched. I feel exhausted!

I am spread thin. Sometimes i feel overwhelmed. I felt overwhelmed today. My time, my resources, my couch- I need more of them. In the last year 8 people have stayed on my couch because they needed a place to go.

I feel needed. I am needed. I need me, my work needs me. Harley needs me. My family needs me. Certain friends need me. God needs me. I like to be needed. It gives me purpose.

I know I am a powerful person. I know I can make a difference in the world. I know I already have. Today I got an unexpected phone call from an unexpected person that presented an opportunity that would allow me to reach thousands. More to come. But look out.

My heart is thankful. I have had more love in my life than most people get in a lifetime. I have had so many adventures and achievements and heartbreak. And all of those things make me thankful.

And I get to see my family next week.